


The Thing

by rockangel2410



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 34,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3514013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockangel2410/pseuds/rockangel2410
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a dark Gerita story in a school AU. Ludwig (aka Germany) is a new teacher in ST. Hetalia. Feliciano(North Italy) is being bullied and abused for being gay. He has no parents because they were killed in a fire. If you want to read more it's very appreciated. I deeply hope you enjoy this story since this is my very first fanfic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The new teacher.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Iben Zee](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Iben+Zee).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ludwig will be in Normal  
> Feliciano will be in bold  
> Thoughts are in italic  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Story is edited]]  
> This is a M x M story. So there is bound to be some gay smut to get in there.
> 
> I want to mention these triggers since I can believe it isn't easy to read stories that contain your trigger.
> 
> These are triggers I can think of: Fire - vague war fragments - Murder - Death (parents and grandparents). I want to mention there will a fade out rape fragment. I can't write it in detail because I've been a victim for 10 years so I hope many of you understand when that chapter comes that I probably will take a break. Luckily that's not in the next 5 chapters or more. It's slowbuild.

Summer vacation had just ended and seeing as some other teacher had quit her job for another position, I , Ludwig Beilschmidt had gotten the new job as a history teacher in ST. Hetalia. I was a newly educated teacher with little experience, but I had served in the army and knew how to earn my respect. I only hoped it would be the same with my students. Arriving early like usual, I started heading towards the classroom I was assigned to. I wasn’t content with how the students were buzzing with rumors, when I walked past however they seemed to quiet down. Good. I unlocked the door, letting students come in if they wanted to and was greeted by a female student. I offered her a small smile and had a tiny chat with her before the class began. A few minutes before the bell rang she retreated and seated herself like the other students who walked into the classroom.  
  
I spoke: “Okay class. School starts within a minute, so I would appreciate it if you went back to your seats now.”

 **Feliciano held his head against his desk, trying to not get noticed by sitting in the very back of the classroom. His earplugs were in, a method he used to block out everyone in the room. He used to be a cheerful boy before, however this changed ever since he went to this fifth year of middle school. This continued to this very day in his first year in High school, bullied for no longer having parents, and there was this rumor (** **_Which was in fact true)_ ** **that his grandfather was put to death do to his war crimes in the second world war. He used to be raised by a nicer foster family, he still had contact with Antonio due to Lovino. He never understood why he and Lovino had to move to this strict christian household in America. Due to Antonio’s scholarship they both went to the same school. The twins had a lot in common: Their looks, eye color although Antonio keeps telling them that Feliciano’s was brighter while Lovino’s was deeper by color, same hairstyle and also the same sexual orientation. When Feliciano decided to finally gather his strength to come out to his new family, he didn’t realize he would start a war. He had to wear long sleeves throughout summer. His boss never asked him questions, his adoptive father was a well respected man after all. Feliciano lived with the constant fear of people finding the bruises, and the plenty of scars scattered around his wrist area. He used to feel loved, cared for. He had an obsession with Italian food, especially pasta. It reminded him of his homeland: Italy. All of this changed simply because he ended up trusting the wrong people with his secret: “I am gay.”** **  
** **  
** **In the end no one could accept him. And why would they? He was different, he always would be from the rest.**

“Good morning, class. My name is Mr. Beilschmidt and I will be your teacher this year.” This is how I started my introduction, then I explained. “Your previous teacher got a higher position at another school, therefor I am here to take her place.” I let my gaze wander around at my students, nothing things that should be noticed, such as the boy in the back who clearly was not listening at all. I ignored the boy for now seeing this is the first day after vacation break. I decided to speak to him after class.   
  
“Alright I’m doing a roll call. Say yes if you are here, otherwise I would prefer if you remain silent. Out of habit I will use your last name, if you prefer me to use your first name, say so and I will try to remember it in the future.” I looked at the list that the principal had given to me the previous day and began calling their names. “Maes?” I said and the girl who had spoken to me earlier replied with a giggle. “You may call me Bella, sir.” She replied kindly. Which made me nod adding a line under her name, something I did to remind myself she prefered to be called by her first name instead. “Jones?” I asked and an obnoxious American guy responded with much lack of interest. “Here Sir.”

 **  
** “Vargas?” I noticed the startled gazes of the class, and it took a moment before I got a reply, following the gazes of the students towards the boy hiding in the back. “Oh uhm, yeah...here.” The boy said and I noticed that before replying he pulled out one of his earplugs. I nodded, following with the last names on the list: “Williams, Yao, andersen and Bondevik.” I decided to start the first lesson for this school-year. I was quite content with how the class was faring so far. They seemed to understand I wasn’t one for jokes when there was work to do. Every now and then a student (Especially Alfred F. Jones.) would try to test my limits. But they all would soon quit as I didn’t even bother responding to them, unless they were interrupting the class. I still hadn’t talked to the brunet in the back. Feliciano Vargas, if I remembered correctly. But it seemed as if I soon would have the opportunity. The bell rang and I let my strong voice carry through the room. **  
  
** “Class dismissed, good work today, you’ve worked well.” I then moved to stand beside the door halting Mister Vargas as he tried to walk by. “Mister Vargas, may I speak with you for a minute?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1500+ words are written and I think there will be a tiny NSWF fragment in 3 chapters. OOOOoooohhhh smut after 12 chapters??? Yes we are getting there ;)
> 
> I actually am editing the story, the smut scene has been written almost a year ago. But there are too many edits and typo's that I cannot dare to post another chapter without any edits. So bear with me


	2. Punish me not, sir.

**Feliciano was listening to his music when suddenly all the gazes of the students were directed to himself. “Huh what?” He said before pulling one of his earplugs out. He felt confused but then he noticed the teacher looking at him. “Mister Vargas?” It took him some brief seconds to notice the teacher had been calling his name. He muttered an : ”Oh uhm, yeah...here...” He saw the teacher nod and ask some other guy’s name. It seemed that the teacher was doing some sort of roll call. He decided to continue to listen to his music. Not even trying to look at the other side of the room. He did peek from time to time to look what the lesson was about, looking at the historic numbers the teacher was scribbling down he understood that it would be about world war the second. He started to mutter under his breath :** **_dude, I know, my grandfather couldn’t shut up about this._ ** **When class finally finished, seeing it was the last lesson of the day, Feliciano hurried and grabbed his backpack rushing to the door. He got halted however by the same teacher he tried to ignore. Mr. Beilschmidt asked him if he may speak to him for a minute. Feliciano struggled, he already needed to get home quite early. “Do you have to?” He asked with a pained voice, if he was late at home once again, who knew what Mr. Roderich Edelstein would do to him this time. A gaze of Mr. Beilschmidt however told him to silence his breath. “Fine, Sir. What do you need to discuss with me.” He questioned why of all people a teacher needed to speak with him? It reminded him of the previous teacher...And he simply didn’t want to remember that. All the other teachers didn’t even dare to look at him. So why was this new teacher staring so intensely.** **_Maybe he doesn’t know it yet?_ ** **That was all Feliciano could guess.**

A stern nod was all I gave to the other’s response, and made a move for the other to take a seat. I stated: “Mister Vargas, I hope you understand that it’s not fun, nor very respecting for a teacher to be ignored on his first day.” I picked up my notes I made during the lesson, looking through them carefully. I didn’t look at the golden colored eyes of my student, which in fact was the first time I ever noticed an eye color such as his. No I do admit seeing it in the eyes of the enemy once, a general of Italian roots. He was old when we had to execute him. I deeply respected the man, having talked to him only a brief time. He was a kind man, but had a gaze which had told me to watch my steps. He said that I reminded him of a friend, which I never would have assumed to be my deceased grandfather. I smile softly and then came back to reality. I’m no longer on the battlefields, no I was a teacher now. And in front of me was a bad behaving student which should be put on his place. I continued: “The school is a place for educating oneself and improving one’s abilities and knowledge. I firmly believe that this is what school is for therefore I will not tolerate any slacking off. Am I clear?” I almost use my voice on the same commanding tone I did in the army and cough. I think for a second and then finally sigh. “I’m not saying you can’t have a few bad days… but I don’t take it kindly to be ignored in class. If you are simply going to listen to music, I would rather have you not be here at all. So either something needs to change, or I will need to have this discussion with you more than one time. Do you understand what I’m saying?” I truly hoped this wasn’t needed again. I would prefer if all students listened to my teaching, when gazing in the other’s eyes, I felt an urge to swallow the words I just said. I saw a fiction of pain, desperation, anger...and sadness. So I decided to end my speech there, looking at the student in front of me.

 **Feliciano looked at the teacher with widened eyes...did he just call him, in a formal way of speaking lazy? He only listened to music so he is not worth having in class...Maybe Mister Beilschmidt was right. Feliciano felt his chest tighten. He didn’t want to ignore the man, but even he had to admit everyone was the same. The teacher probably didn’t know, the reason why he had to repeat a year. How he listened music to don’t have a panic attack simply entering the classroom which made his life a hell one year ago. Or why that teacher got a higher position away from ST. Hetalia. Nor the story behind the scar on his chest.** **_That bloody b*tch._ ** **He still remembered her gaze. He remembers because her adoptive daughter Bella was now in the same class as he was. He clamped his fist to his side, breathing sharply. He yanked his head to meet the gaze of his new teacher. “Well, Sir. It won’t certainly happen again.” The gaze he send towards Mr. Beilschmidt was sending daggers towards him.  He expected the teacher to slam his huge fists on the table, to tell him clearly: “You’re not fit to be here! You don’t belong here faggot!” Like others had done before, the same way she had done when he had told that teacher what he was. He took a deep breath smiling his usual cheerful smile, but inside he felt as if his lungs had stopped functioning. He put his shoulders upwards. “Ah, well Sir. I’m already tired of my attitude anyway...by the way the year you wrote down is 1945 not 1944 if I recall correctly.” He smiled, even a teacher was allowed to make a mistake. He then tilts his head to the side. “I’ll change for the best and I’ll try to not bother your class ever again.” He couldn’t help but feel frustrated thinking about his effort for even managing to walk in that traumatic room again. Attending the class that had driven him to the edge to begin with. Where he was traumatized, bullied and abused at the same desk that teacher was standing now. But of course Mister Beilschmidt didn’t know. He took his bag not looking at the teacher who was clearly looking at him with a questioning gaze.** **_He can’t help it Feli, he simply doesn’t know the facts...you shouldn’t take the blame on him._ ** **His voice of reason tried to tell him. He shook his head once more, while saying things as:** **_retard - asshole._ ** **Into his mind. And the sad part, none of it was directed to the teacher at all.**


	3. Rumor has it!!!

I said nothing as the student stepped out of the room. I was surprised, yes, but Feliciano’s actions got me thinking. Swiftly I opened the door after Feliciano had slammed it shut with great force. “Mister Vargas?” I called loudly, thinking this was important, feeling the student may not come to my classes anymore, due to the trivial words I had said. I didn’t care if other students could hear me or not and said my next sentence very genuine: “I always believe in my students, that they have the best of potential, you are no difference.” I saw the boy shake his head, I knew he had no believe in my words and this bothered me deeply. I went back to my desk, laying my head in my hands: “Great first impression, Lud.” I heard a knock on the door, my brother standing in front of it with a huge sheepish grin on his face. “You forgot your lunch big bruder.” He said to me. I thanked him, and he chuckled his “annoyingly” typical laugh. “So how was your first day?” He asked me , his gaze piercing into my eyes. I sighted, he was just like our mother. “It wasn’t that bad...just…” He looked at me as if he expected me to continue. “Just?” I shook my head. “Nothing, oh before I forget, Francis told me you were going to play video games, don’t forget to invite Antonio.” I looked at him, those boys tend to make a lot of noise when they game. “Of course I wouldn’t.” He said pretending like I hurt his feelings. We chuckle, at the sight of the bright Antonio, who was clearly in a good mood these kind of days. “Do you think…” I look at my brother. “He got himself a girlfriend?” Gilbert looked at me almost wary. “He got a boyfriend” My brother muttered quietly. I wasn’t able to hear him. “What?” I ask in wonder. Gilbert shrugged. “Nothing Big Bro.” My thoughts slipped to Feliciano. _What was bothering that kid so much?_ _  
_ I shrugged, it would be explained sooner or later I guess.

**Feliciano was surprised, he even looked back towards the teacher as he walked towards the bicycles.** **_He sure was an extraordinary teacher, even trying to talk to me_ ** **. He sighted.** **_Who would believe in me?_ ** **He said in a whisper.** **_Who would believe in a gay kid? I mean come on, as soon as he finds out what I am, what had happened, he will be like every teacher in this god forsaken school. Blaming me, saying I did this to myself._ ** **He wiped away some of the tears that began to show up. Thinking the day couldn’t get worse, he found his precious memento of his mother, tires shredded into pieces, the steering wheel screwed off and finally found in the bushes. And a single letter with the word FAGGOT clearly written down on it. “Why?” He cried. “Who would do this?” He looked around but he saw nobody near. He guessed it was the usual bullies. Francis and his gang, Gilbert and Antonio. He sighted, if they had done it he would smack Antonio’s head. After all he was dating his little brother, Lovino. He shook his head, tired then he had ever been. It couldn’t been them. No need to accuse someone for what they didn’t do. He kept thinking about the weak health of his brother, how Lovino was now more often cheerful. All thanks to Antonio. He shook his head. Yeah, it couldn’t have been them. Antonio kept their relationship hidden for Lovino’s sake, they clearly were lovely dovely when it was just Feliciano. Antonio would have stopped his friends, for Lovino’s sake. He wiped away the dirt of the steering wheel, wondering if this could be fixed. He felt his phone buzz.** ****  
****  
**[Mr. Roderich] You are late, you know your curfew. You know what it means to be late.** ****  
**  
** **He felt his heart drop, he hoped Roderich wouldn’t end up killing him tonight. It took him an hour to get home with his broken bike, refusing to leave his mother’s bicycle at school. “Ah, if it isn’t my precious son.” Roderich smiled at him, the smile telling him nothing more than cruelly. The words sounding like poison.**

Later that day, I found myself in the teacher lounge, I happened to overhear some teachers talking as I walked over to the coffee machine. Or rather overheard them gossiping. “Did you hear about the Vargas kid? Seems like he still is going to Miss Arlovskaya’s History class.” I yanked my head in question, because Miss Arlovskaya was the class I was in charge off. The teacher didn’t realize I was being in the room and continued to speak his words in disrespect: “I thought for sure they were going to move.” A female teacher nodded: “Yeah the bullying was pretty bad, do you think there’s some other reason?” **  
  
** A teacher that I got the name off, Kiku Honda said with a serious voice: “I don’t believe it’s their economical situation only, I know their situation to be pretty bad but….?” A laugh filled the room, I hadn’t wanted to but I found myself listening to another male teacher named Ivan Braginsky’s bitter laughing. Still, I thought It was nice to know some of of Vargas’ background. The laughing teacher said with a grunt: “Did you forget that fag’s great out coming in fifth grade, the only reason his life is a mess is because he swings his dick at the males in our school, come one he is gay, we all know it.” A female teacher sighted, slightly embarrassed. “His life would be so much better if he wasn’t and just stuck with girls.” I found myself leaving the room. I started to get a mental picture of what the poor boy was going through.

**When Feliciano arrived at class, he was struggling with his leg. It had hurt after he had to sit on a book for four hours. After his adoptive father had hit him severely with his wooden cane. He was hit at his back, bottom legs and arms plenty of times until he ended up screaming in pain. He saw the approving gaze as he pleaded for forgiveness of Roderick’s side. Which was returned with a single fist in his stomach and an approving smile. “Don’t be late next time, you little piece of trash.” With this he was send to his room with his only enjoyment, a little piece of music, and a history assignment due to tomorrow. Feliciano hated the physical punishments but it was how it worked in this damned place. He hoped that by tomorrow nobody would notice and mistake it for a lover’s rendezvous. Because obviously it wasn’t, he had bruises on both his back and his sides. And when he sat down, it felt really uncomfortable. He decided to distract himself by looking at the teacher. He was too fed up yesterday to notice how muscular Mr. Beilschmidt was. He had blond hair, which matched perfectly with his blue eyes. It was different of his Italian charm, but in a way he believed the teacher had his own appeal. Of course he wasn’t as stupid to fall for the teacher. He could imagine what would come of it, bullying. A removal from office of the teacher, which would be a pity because somewhere the teacher did what was best for him yesterday. He could only think of the extra drama, in fact he could already see the headlines. He shivered in agony.**

 


	4. Something had to change, si?

Class the next day went a little bit like expected, I was actually surprised to even find Feliciano in my class. They got to open their books, as opposed to the previous day, but now school was back and thriving. I had gotten to know my students a bit better, in my mind I was already mapping out each person. Who seemed to struggle with their schoolwork, who were outgoing, which ones stayed more to themselves...all of those general ideas. Feliciano was even seeming to be paying attention today as well, something that pleased me to some extent. At least he wasn’t a student who literally didn’t give any cares in the world for respect and his own learning. No, Feliciano seemed to be genuine, somewhere in what little I had seen of him. In the beginning of my studies for the job as a teacher, many people wondered why I had even applied. They told me I was much too harsh, that I scared my pupils, and that I would end up yelling too often. The thing that few bothered to learn about me was that I was in fact very observant. I was incredible at reading people, and how to act near them, I liked being near people, though one wouldn’t really think so at first glance. “Alright class, dismissed. You did a wonderful job today everyone. Vargas, may I have a minute or two with you after class?” I asked nonchalantly, not really expecting an answer. 

**“Sure…” Feliciano said curiously and a bit uncomfortable. He was thinking what he may have done wrong this time. Because he did adjust his attitude a bit, trying to focus on the lesson although he had been in great pain. Maybe he had noticed him staring at him. He started to slightly panic. “W-What do you need to speak off, Sir?” He tried to say it in a kind way, instead of the rushed panic in his voice. He couldn’t help but feel at ease with the teacher in front of him. And at the same time he felt a bit sky about it, for some reason he didn’t quite understand he didn’t dislike the teacher as he had been the first day. Maybe it was due to his overthinking that night, he had addressed the situation wrongly. The teacher did something rarely people offered him, he treated him like he was a human being, like he was an actual person. Perhaps that’s why Feliciano felt the need to reject this teacher all the more. Because one day, Mr. Beilschmidt would find out that he was gay, and he will find out what the teacher he is replacing had done to him. And he couldn’t help but feel that he wouldn’t be looked at, the same way as Mr. Beilschmidt was looking at him as he did now.** **_Not in the good way anymore._ ** **He thought.**

I smiled calmly at Feliciano as soon as the other students had left. “I have nothing significant to speak of, to be frank. However...I wanted to tell you that you have done an incredible job today. You’ve improved yourself since yesterday by a lot. The review you did earlier in class was one of the best in my three history classes.” I smiled as I gave the boy his task back, the top grade written in the right corner in red pen. “...Also, I’ve heard you’ve had some trouble in this school…” I started, my brow now a frown. “If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, feel free to speak to me, do you understand? A boy such as yourself shouldn’t have to deal with such things, especially not if my sources are correct. Know that there are people out there who are there for you , okay?”

**Feliciano smiled a sad soft smile. He had very much trouble believing that, he couldn’t. He simply couldn’t believe anyone in this world would care for him.** **_Who would, after all he was the most despicable thing there was._ ** **“I’ll keep that in mind.” He decided was a more proper answer to what the teacher had told him.  He said it softly, almost not heard for the teacher. It was that moment when he got surprised by one of the bullies that tormented him, Francis Bonnefoy. Feliciano felt his stomach hurt, but didn’t want Mr. Beilschmidt to notice. “Oh Feliciano, I heard what happened to your bicycle, it’s a real shame.” Francis said with a fake groan.** ****  
**  
** **“Oh it doesn’t matter, it was already very old.” The brunet gained some tears in his eyes. But then he bit his lip, deciding he had to stand taller than this. “So it doesn’t matter.” Feliciano managed to say these words firmly. In which Francis nodded and walked away, a grin on his face. Feliciano hung his shoulders, shaking his head. He was furious yet he didn’t want to show the teacher he was upset.**

I was slightly suspicious of Feliciano’s reply. There was just something wrong about it, but just as he was about to say something, we were interrupted by a very familiar Frenchman in the doorway. He said something about Feliciano’s bike, of which had been broken? Following the conversation it was obvious it wasn’t as innocent as it seemed. I know Francis, Francis was one of my brother’s best friends, and over the years I had gotten to know him as well. The smirk on the blond’s face was definitely one of darker intents. As if that wasn’t enough, a lot of Feliciano’s body language screamed of uncomfortably. He bit his lip, he tensed his shoulders, and I wasn’t sure if Feliciano himself had noticed, but his hands were balled into fists. Despite myself not knowing Feliciano that long, this was general human body language telling something was wrong. Anyone could figure the student was uncomfortable if they looked at him. After a small while, Francis left, and I turned to look at Feliciano again, Who seemed to have gotten lost in his own thoughts. I did the only thing I could do, show sympathy. So I rested my hand on the brunet’s shoulder, and murmured with a low voice. “Ignore him.” I tried meeting the other’s eyes. “Your bicycle is broken, ja?” I asked, letting some of my German accent slip through. “I may not look like it, but when I was in the army I learned a thing or two. I could have a look at it and fix it if you want me to?”

 

 


	5. Heal the hurt.

**“N-No, no.” Feliciano said shyish. He didn’t expect his teacher to do such an honorable deed. “There is no need...I...can buy a new one….from the vacation money I earned. There is no need to repair that old thing.” He lied, tears welling in his eyes.** **  
** **  
** **Well of course he feels bad, it was the bike of his deceased mother. It held precious memories he had of her. It was one of the reasons included why he got bullied for, riding a ladies bicycle. Yet it made him feel closer to his mother, the woman he had cared for so deeply. He lowered his shoulders again, trying not to cry. His back hurt, and he felt a throbbing pain in his head. He hadn’t noticed it due to his anger towards Francis, but his head was flaring up with a fever. The sudden heat hit him and he wobbled as he was struck by dizziness. Maybe he should ask the teacher if he would bring him to the nursery.**

**“Uh-uhm , Sir? I don’t really feel well, so I’m w…” He felt like his legs couldn’t carry him any longer. He fell through his knees, hoping he wouldn’t hurt his already bruised back.**

I furrowed my brow at the other’s denial, but I said nothing. I would say it was out of respect of the other’s wish. But I honestly just couldn’t come up with how to reply to the other. As if that wasn’t enough, the other seemed to have a sudden change in his demeanor, and he wobbled slightly. This caused me to strengthen my hold on the other’s shoulder, so that he wouldn’t fall again. “Feliciano, are you okay?” I asked calmly waving my hand in front of the other’s face, the boy was almost glowing. “Do you want me to take you to the nurse room?”

****“Thanks...Sir.” Feliciano said, smiling genuinely for the first time in months. It was a soft smile, but the touch of Mr. Beilschmidt’s hand was both warm and heartwarming and most of all,saddening for some part. “Uhm.” He scraped his throat and tried to distract the teacher for a second so he wouldn’t notice how that simple touch made him feel, such as the tears he was desperately trying to hide. Only a minute had past and yet he started to turn into a ghost with each passing second, his fever continued to blur his vision and his stomach screamed that whatever he had eaten in the morning needed to get out.  
** **  
** **He put a hand in front of his mouth and dashed to the nearest male’s toilet. The sickening sounds made the students that still were at the school , run away as fast as possible from the door. He felt like it couldn’t get any worse. His stomach felt like popping and his throat hurt way too much. He hoped the teacher didn’t hear him as whatever was inside his stomach found it’s way to the toilet.****

My smile lessened somewhat, turning into worry for the brunet. Though I stayed calm, this was however until Feliciano made a run for the nearest men’s room. I had figured he didn’t feel too well, seeing as the student’s skin had turned into a pale almost green, though I didn’t expect it to happen this early. ****  
  
**** I followed Feliciano to the bathroom, and said or did nothing at the sound of the younger man, I decided to wait until he walked out. I grabbed a few paper towels, offering it when Feliciano walked out. I gently started rubbing his back. ** **  
  
**** “Are you okay?” I asked again in a gentle tone.


	6. That Fag is NOT my son

**There was a buzzing sound, one that Feliciano recalled as his cellphone ringing. If one was to think that Feliciano was pale by sickness, he would think twice when looking at Feliciano’s face when seeing the name on his cellphone.** ****  
****  
**“Shit!” He swore and picked up. The raging voice of his foster parent gave him the shivers. He couldn’t help it any longer, biting his lips while tears started rolling over his cheeks.** ****  
**  
** **“Uhu- uhu I unders - I understand, Yes Madam, No Madam…” The fast shakes of yes and no made him ever dizzier than he already was.**

****As much as I didn’t like to admit it, I definitely jumped when Feliciano’s cellphone rang. I hadn’t expect the student to be called, after all school was finished only ten minutes ago. And boys of Feliciano’s age tend to linger a bit longer before going home.  
  
It quickly became insignificant as I saw that tears were falling down the students eyes. Feliciano was so distressed, he seemed so lost.   
  
“Feliciano, are you-” I stopped however, figuring out it would be his guardians, and carefully prodded his shoulder. “Vargas? May I speak to them?”

******Feliciano wavered, he wanted to hand over the phone but he was simply too scared. Maybe, he should give…!**  
****  
**A loud bang was heard as soon the door flew open, his foster parent Roderich walking through it. His steps toward them both in a strong pace.** **  
** **  
** **“You little Cunt!” Roderich screamed furious, hand raised in order to slap his “son”. Feliciano ducked his head away in fear, he never had been violent when anyone was around. So this surprised and scared him even more.**

I was shocked to say the least when the other grown-up crashed through the door, his aggressive demeanor immediately sending me into combat mode. The other tried to slap the brunet, but I caught his hand, immediately stopping the violent male.

“Excuse me, Sir.” I said coldly. “But this isn’t how you treat a valuable member of society, and that’s certainly not how you treat one of my students.” I said locking eyes with the offender. “I suggest you leave, sir. If you are who I think you are. Then Feliciano will not be coming home. You can expect a call from me later.”

**Feliciano looked at the teacher with widened eyes. “What? But...huh?” He stuttered his words, his Italian roots returning due to the fever. He probably couldn’t speak in his normal English he had been raised in.**

**“Why would you do that for that child? I mean haven’t you heard of his sickness?!”**    

**“Sickness! I have a fever right now, but I am not a walking disease!” Feliciano said in pain, a mix of shame and anger. “You, shut up Faggot!” Roderich screamed at the smaller brunet. “How dare you even talk back at me, I should have let you burn in that house together with your parents.”** ****  
**  
** **“How did you even know how my parents died?!” Feliciano yelled in surprise.**

**“The newspaper, the record of when you were send to my house, where I gave you food and clothes, you ungrateful piece of shit!!” The foster parent looked into the boys eyes. “If you aren’t home today by ten I’m calling the police and I will let you been put into an orphanage again, or you’ll be sleeping on the streets hear me, fucking disgusting piece of Shit!”**

**With that the “gentleman” turned and slammed the door shut. Feliciano fell on his knees and started to cry. The punishment he was going to receive might kill him this time… .**


	7. The blessing of a mother.

I kept silent as the guardian talked to his adoptive son, wanting him to shut up. I didn’t however, instead making sure he would not try to physically harm the younger boy again in his rampage. I was focused on everything the adult said or did, and only when he left, I turned to Feliciano, who was now crying on his knees. Although I may seem like a pleasant person to be around, I was sort of awkward in these kind of situations, so I sat down on my knees in front of Feliciano and pulled the brunet into a rather awkward yet supporting hug.

“Don’t listen to him.” I began. “Listen to me instead, for now. You are not sick, well you have a fever. But apart of that, it’s okay, and it is completely normal. My condolences about your parents, but I can assure you your guardians won’t be able to send you back to the orphanage.” I paused, moving to meet Feliciano directly in his eyes. “If he ever bothers, I’ll take you in my care at once, do you understand?”

I paused for a second, thinking: “You shouldn’t go home Feliciano. Especially not if he is like that. If you need someplace to stay you can come with me okay?”

**“I’m afraid you are right, I really cannot...return home when he is this angry.” Feliciano said with a broken sob. “However I don’t want to bother you…” He said a bit unsure. It was kind of the teacher to offer, but it’s not like it was his job to do such a thing for a student, for him.**

**He was just a student, Mr. Beilschmidt reminded him of his father.  Who had been supportive whenever he fell down, or funny whenever he felt said. No actually now that Feliciano was thinking about it, Mr. Beilschmidt was more as his mother, a woman with the kindest voice in the whole wide world.**

**Someone who knew how to soothe him whenever he felt like his world was crashing down. When his mother died, every little memory of her became a blessing to him. He treasured every single one of them.** **  
** **  
** **Her bicycle, her necklace that survived the fire, which would become an engagement item if he did find someone he loved later in life. Of course he also had the jewelry box, who was half burned in the fire, hidden safely in his backpack in the class. He would feel lost without them. So he always took it with him.**

**“Mr. Beilschmidt, If I may ask you something…?” Feliciano asked unsure. “How was your mother like?” He looked at the teacher, careful. It must be because he wanted to share some memories, of the woman that wasn’t allowed to be mentioned in his own household.**

** Seeing Feliciano this heartbroken was one of the worst things I had ever seen. I wasn’t used with dealing people who had it this bad, but I understood something. Feliciano needed someone. Someone who would actually support him. “Don’t worry Feliciano, you won’t be a bother.” I smiled wryly, though at the sudden question, I gave a questioning glance.   
  
I answered however it all the same. “My mother?” I smiled warmly. “She is kind, a bit strict. But no one can deny that she deeply cares for me and my bruder. She simply did it so in a different way.”   
  
** I met Feliciano’s gaze. “If you don’t mind me asking.” I hesitated. “What about your mother?”

**Feliciano smiled a bit more genuine, appreciating the fact that the teacher allowed him to talk about her.** **  
** **  
** **“She loved to sing, she had an amazing voice. She was a professional, especially in opera.” Feliciano smiled at the memory. “She used to sing me to sleep every night, it was an italian lullaby my father had taught her after marrying her.”**

**“She too was Italian, but not from the province my father was from. She was from the north and my father came from south Italy.” He smiled sadly. All the memories grew inside his chest and although it warmed him he felt a little troubled.**

**“The night..of the fire. I was three when it happened. I remember her singing the song for the last time she held me in her arms. She had to stop halfway plenty of times because the smoke made it difficult for her to breath.”** **  
** **  
** **He shook his head laughing sadly. “She sang until the firemen arrived, holding me and my brother closely.” He sighted. “She died later in the hospital...Severe burn marks got infected and she was far from saving. She actually died not long after she knew father was burned to death...I guess she wanted to remain at his side.” He thought about his father, the burned flesh. The cremation. How they had put his parents together. Some of the ashes were inside the pendant he was wearing right now around his neck. It had the shape of two hearts forming an hourglass, a proof that their love was eternal, even when death parted them. “So that’s basically what I recall of my parents, and how they died.” He felt better after talking to Mr. Beilschmidt. Even though it wasn’t the most pleasant memory he had.**

** I listened to Feliciano as he spoke, not really knowing what to do other than to hold on to the other in a firm hug and to try to make Feliciano feel better.    
  
** “Do you feel better now? Or should we still take you to the nurse?” I asked carefully, knowing it would be a tiny bit awkward from now on. Feliciano would go home with him, even  if it was for just a night.

**“I feel better, it was just some vomiting because of the pain, my back hurts a little but I am fine.” Feliciano said uneasy.** **_It was probably due to Roderick’s fist in my stomach last night._ ** **He didn’t care how things would be going from now on. He noticed that the teacher wasn’t as bad as he thought he was in the beginning, instead he felt like Mr. Beilschmidt was actually a real gentle person.**

**“I hope I won’t be any bother to you.” Feliciano scratched his head in embarrassment. He became silent when he gazed at the tall blond. A kind of peaceful embarrassing silence came between them. “Sir, if you may, you may call me Feli?” He kind of got flustered after saying his thoughts at loud.**

A small, gentle smile made it’s way to my face, and I breathed out. Slowly though my nose. “Don’t worry, you won’t bother me at all.” I said, now standing up and reaching to help the other up as well.

“Feli? I suppose I could try, if I remember it.’ I mumbled. “Don’t expect it in class, however. I heard the students here are very close-minded. And I wouldn’t want to bring more trouble upon necessary. That will just be bothersome for the both of us.” I started walking towards the door, expecting Feliciano to follow me. “Do you have any belongings here at school? We can bring them all to my house now.” I stopped. “Oh, and Felician - I mean Feli? I’m taking a look at that bicycle, whether you want me or not.”

**“You really don’t have to, I mean it’s not like you owe me something, so…” Feli said shy. “About my belongings, I have a pendant I need to get from home...if that is a bit much to ask for I understand, it belonged to my mother so I would love to get it back, it means much to me and…” He stopped blabbering, hoping Mr. Beilschmidt didn’t think he was talking too much.**

I gave my student a raised eyebrow, as if saying the other didn’t really have a choice in the matter. That bicycle was getting fixed, I stood by it. He stopped and thought for a while, thinking how to get Feliciano’s pendant back, before I came to a conclusion. “I believe getting your belongings tomorrow will be no problem. However, we won’t be able to retrieve it before tomorrow morning, at earliest.” He thought back to something the other teachers had said during lunch break once. “Feli, you do have another guardian do you? Does she happen to be at least a tiny bit calmer that the man from earlier.”

**“I’m afraid not.” Feliciano shook his head. “She often hits me with her frying pan, yells that I am not the son she wanted, that I’m dirty and despicable…” Feliciano looked down in shame. He sighted. Of all the people who could have raised him...He wondered how his life had looked like if he was raised in Mr. Beilschmidt’s family instead. He wouldn’t feel bothered that his mother was strict. He just wanted to be part of a family that instead of violence would be based on love. He sighed once more...and looked up, at his teacher. He didn’t know we he did what he did next, but before he knew it he gave the taller man a hug and whispered: “Thank you, Sir.”**

I listened to the other, a bit saddened at what he had been going through, but I could get my plan to work, if I angled it correctly. It was just a matter of how I did things. Still, I could think of this when we would get home. I rested my hand on the other’s shoulder again, letting the action show more that the words I, myself could say. I wasn’t good with words. At least that was what I thought about myself. The action was responded with a hug, one that I yet again returned, albeit hesitantly. “Please,” I said, smiling weakly as I head Feli call me ‘Sir’ for the umpteenth time. “Call me Ludwig when we are not in class."

**“Alright s-uh I mean Ludwig.” It felt weird to call someone with their first name, Feliciano wasn’t used to doing so, seeing he had no friends. His adoptive father also didn’t allow Feliciano to call him by his name, nor by the word father. It was Sir, always. And his adoptive mother preferred to be called ma'am or miss, it depended on her mood. If she would have a good day it would be ma’am or madam and in bad days which is often four out of seven days it would be miss.** **  
** **  
** **“When are we leaving?”The young Italian asked. He even wondered how old Mr. Beilschmidt actually was. He didn’t look too old, in fact he seemed like he was just a few years older than him.**

I chuckle slightly. “We’ll be leaving shortly, I believe. Depends on how quick we gather your belongings as well as that bicycle of yours,” I said, partially with a joking tone. “I just need to pick up a few papers from the classroom first, and then at least I am ready to leave. “I went towards the classroom, picking up his items as the younger one began talking. At least he thought so. “Hmm? Yes, what is it?”

**“How old are you?” He felt his cheeks redden, similar to his favorite fruit (because tomatoes are in fact a fruit) when he asked this question. His brother also adored tomatoes, while Feliciano prefered them in a nice pasta sauce. The thought of Lovino being able to have a homosexual relationship, while he had to endure the harassments and the beatings didn’t made the twins grow apart. Although Feliciano did feel jealous from time to time.** **_Why is he able to be this happy, and I cannot._ ** **He did look almost exactly like his brother, and he was the gentlest of the two. Girls found him attractive, until he reclined them kindly saying he was gay. After they would pick up their noses as high as the air could allow them, as if they smelled rotten food or another dead animal when he walked by. Some giggled, some snorted but most glared. His life would be such easier if people just accepted him for who he truly was.** **  
** **  
** **But that wasn’t possible, being gay wasn’t in the normal terms of society.**

I stopped to look at the other at the question. “How old I am? I’m 27 year old.” I said, giving Feliciano a strange look. “And you? What about you” I felt to get slightly worried about Feliciano, who seemed to suddenly have a lot on  his mind. “Feli, are you okay?”

**“Oh, hmm? Yeah of course?” Feliciano muttered, his mind getting back to where it used to be. “I’m eighteen, becoming nineteen on march the 17th.” He quickly told the other, feeling the desire to not look too distracted. “We aren’t that much of an age difference, my parents had the same age difference.” He smiled, he did think Mr. uhm Ludwig did look young, but the age came as a surprise to him. “Do you have what you need, or do I have to wait?”**

I raised an eyebrow, but let it slide. “I suppose not, I got my education without repeating any years.” I smiled. “I’m done, so you don’t have to wait. But Feliciano are you sure that you are okay?”

**“Yeah, I’m just distracted as usual.” Feliciano said rubbing the back of his head a little timidly. It was as if his mind was all over the place, as if it refused to focus on anything different as Ludwig at the moment. He didn’t even understand why he was thinking that much about the man, while he was standing in front of him. He decided to label it as him being tired.**

  
**What was this tight feeling in his chest, and why did Ludwig remind him of the friendly neighbour boy that was on a vacation in Italy plenty of years ago. He was very quiet, always reading at that apple tree that belonged to his parent’s garden. He often played together until the blond boy needed to return home. He never managed to capture his name as well, but his mother had named him the boy that captured Feliciano’s heart for the first time.** **  
** **  
** **And even know Feliciano cherished that first love.**

I gave a small nod, and a worried glance. I walked over to my desk, taking my briefcase and walked over to Feliciano, gently pressing a hand to look if he was still feverish, he was still too warm to my belief. “You should get some rest,” I deducted. “Shall we go?”

**Feliciano nodded, walking first until suddenly he stopped. “Mr. Beilschmidt...I do may have a tiny problem going home with you.” He hadn’t really thought about it since their looks were too different, yet they did held the same last name. “Are you perhaps related to Gilbert Beilschmidt?”**

 

 


	8. May I speak aloud?

I face-palmed, feeling extremely apologetic towards my student. “Of all the things my bruder does…” I let out a heavy breath, somehow finding my hand to be messing with Feliciano’s hair. “Don’t worry, I won’t let him do anything.” I made eye contact with the other, eyes gentle. “Are you ready to go.” I said with a weak smile.

**“...” Feliciano was thinking, how would Gilbert act when he sees his bully victim suddenly walking into his house. He could only hope he could trust Ludwig with the matter. A slight grin came on his face. “I’m ready.” He said, as he turned to a shadow in the distance. He wondered if he was seeing things, but whoever it was had disappeared.**

The two of us reached my house soon enough, after having picked up what rest of Feliciano’s bicycle I drove home in relative silence, giving me time to think about how to get Feliciano’s belongings, and how to face my brother with the fact he was bringing one of his ‘victims’ home. Hopefully Antonio and Francis wouldn’t be home with him when we would arrive.   


We reached my home, and I opened the door. It was somewhat quiet, only the humming of my bruder coming from a nearby room was heard. That was the only sound filling the house, it wasn’t like I had expected it different anyways, since I lived just down the streets from mine and Gilbert’s parents. We could easily visit them whenever, and I was planning on perhaps introducing Feliciano to them sometime later this week. However, for now, Gilbert was an enough challenge.

“Make yourself at home.” I mumbled. “My room is over there.” I said, pointing at the door further down the hall. “The one at the end is mein bruders room, you probably want to avoid that one until I have spoken to him...and the door to the left there is one of our bathrooms.” I paused thinking. “I think I’m going to speak with Gilbert, if that’s okay?”

**“Y-yeah I think that’s a very good idea, and I guess, if you can, you can let him talk to me later, I want to ask him some questions as to why he did those things before...Because to be honest your brother always looks like a fun to be around person…” Feliciano admitted, his voice filled with uncertainty and a little bit of fear.**

**He couldn’t believe the talk would be an easy one, he only had seen Gilbert from a distance, or when he got pushed into the lockers by the three friends.**

** I nodded hesitantly and knocked on my brother’s door. “Bruder…?” I waited until Gilbert acknowledged his existence before I went in, not closing the door completely so that Feli could hear what we were saying. “I need to talk with you, burder.” The silver haired boy looked at me, grin clearly stating that he was content about something, yet it fell as soon as he saw the serious look I was giving him. **

**“What is it that you need to speak the awesome me about?” He asked.**

** “Bruder, I need to ask you something, regarding Feliciano Vargas.” Gilbert seemed to lose what little confidence he had, and now became a little hostile. **

** **“I don’t know of him, what is it you need to talk about?”** **

I only sighed, and sat next to my brother meeting his eyes. “I do believe you know him, he is one of my students...whom you have apparently not been too kind to.” I was interrupted from saying more.

**“Oh, come on Lud! Is this what that is going to be about?”** **The albino was now yelling. “Because that is just stupid, I-”**

I spoke next, silently. “He is currently standing in the hallway, beaten by his parents, and if he returns tonight I’m surely he won’t get to school alive the next morning.” After that I looked at my brother who seemed to be deciding his words with more care.

**“They...are abusive?” He asked hesitantly.** I nodded.  **“O-oh my...Lud, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t  - It all started as a joke, I didn’t know…” Gilbert silenced himself.**

“He is going to stay here for a while,” I said. “And I would like it if you didn’t threaten or scared him or do anything remotely unpleasant to him, this also involves Francis and Antonio. Is that clear?”  


**Gilbert nodded.**

I stood up, walking over to the door seeing Feliciano doubting to enter. “You can come in now.” I told the other lowly, gently.

**Feliciano nodded. “Gilbert, can I come in?” He however didn’t even wait for Gilbert’s permission. He wavered to speak when he noticed the silvered haired male sitting on what seemed to be a star themed bed. “Gilbert, if you allow me can I have a bit of your time.” He spoke softly, didn’t want to look weak in Gilbert’s eyes to give him more reason to belittle him. He didn’t want to end up crying of yelling. “I never intended to anger you...or anything.” Feliciano began. “Actually now I can be honest with you, I always felt a bit jealous with how easily you befriended people and how much you seemed to care for your friends.”**

**He noticed how Gilbert wanted to stop him but he felt like his last line should been said out loud. “I understand, I even acknowledge your amazing sense of humor and your ‘awesomeness’ but I wish you’d refrain from hurting people, especially people like me. I don’t say you’ll have to accept me, but at least I hope we can live here under one roof without treating each other like shit, because I did get hurt by what you did.”**

** At the request of leaving, I looked at Feliciano, unsure in the beginning, but then I figured it would be alright. I nodded, and gave a warning look to my brother before leaving the room. **

**Gilbert didn’t know what to think, he hadn’t meant to make it like this. It had all started as a joke, something between him and his two most awesome-est friends. He hadn’t meant for it to be this way at all.**

**“People like you?” He asked, once the brunet was finished speaking. Deep down the flattering Feliciano offered him made him feel even worse, it seemed if he had been nicer they could have been friends. “Are you speaking about the thing going between you and your parents, which I feel sorry about dude I mean it-.”**

**“I’m talking about the gay part...Gilbert, I promised him...but you know Antonio is dating my brother.” He shook his head. “Your best friend is gay as well, and he is still terrified to tell anyone, thinking you’d don’t want to be any friends if he tells you…” Feliciano’s eyes grew worried but he was hit with a smile from Gilbert instead.**

**“Oh, Toni?” Gilbert said, chuckling slightly. “I actually knew he was gay since long ago, no worries there. But I didn’t know his boyfriend was your brother, so no worries there.” He shook his head, still smiling. “The idiot actually told me a long time ago, well by idiot I mean it in a friendly way but yeah the way he did was a bit funny. Since he was drunk. I always felt it, that he had a thing for dudes; I’m cool with it. As long as my friend is happy, everything is awesome. And the way he talks about your brother I assume they both are.” He winked. “There is nothing wrong with being gay, or bi or any sexuality really, I don’t see the problem. When Franny, Toni and I decide to mess with someone we don’t always had any specific reason. But I uhm kind of did it because you are small, and you reminded me of a duck.”**

**He leaned back on the bed, ginning before his look turned a bit more uncertain again. “And I, Uh...really feel bad about the stuff we did. I honestly want to apologize not just because Lud asked me to. We did it in good fun, but I failed to realize that the victim doesn’t see it the same way. So sorry about that.”**

**“....What the actually...what the I ...huh?” Feli’s mouth had dropped in total confusion. “I do have to ask do you know if Francis ruined my bike…” Feli said with a slight anger in his voice. “Well he seemed to know something about it so…”**

**He waited. “Ah well, I guess this could be a new start?” Feli smiled brightly at Gilbert. “Oh one more question I want to ask…”**

**“Could you please reject people a little kinder, that girl had been sobbing for three days straight, si?” He slipped a bit of Italian in his words, he was feeling less anxious. “Bieno, than I’m going to ask Ludwig the major questions, like how much rent is going to be and which room I can sleep in. Or where the blankets are for the couch.”**

**Gilbert laughed his signature laugh. “Of to a good start. Kesesesese, I’ll keep that in mind, shorty. I don’t know if Francis damaged your bike but I can say it wasn’t Antonio or me.” He smiled at the brunet. “Oh and tell my bruder I want wurst for dinner, if you want to talk anytime you know where to find me okay?”**

**“Sure will.” He said bumping into Ludwig on his way out, falling straight against Ludwig’s chest. “Oh sorry, I didn’t think you’d stand there any longer. Oh Gilbert wants wurst for dinner.” Feliciano said, grinning ear to ear. He couldn’t explain how relieved he was after talking to Gilbert.**

I listened intently to what my brother and the brunet were talking about, smiling when his brother revealed no harm was supposed to be done. I did not, however realize when Feliciano came out of the room, and as the crashed Feliciano fell I managed to grab him on his way, it left our faces hanging...dangerously close to each other. Luckily Feliciano didn’t seem too phased by it, and I moved back noticing the grin on the other’s face. The brunet looked more chipper now, and I guessed it was because of what my brother had told him.

“It’s alright. Gilbert wants wurst, now does he? Well, we’ll have to see. What do you want for dinner? Feliciano you’re the guest so you can decide.”

**“Pasta~ veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!”**


	9. Pasta and tears.

I gave the other a look at the sudden change of attitude, Feliciano seemed really content. To the point it made me imagine some resemblance with a cat. The noise he had made reminded me of a purr, and somehow it had managed to make me smile. “I’ll see what I can do then.”

**“Can I help you with anything?” Feli said while looking at Ludwig cooking. He giggled, because he was seeing a sight no other student would. It was a rare and pleasant sight to see someone cook instead of being the chef for once.**

A smile crossed my face. “Well, if you want to then…” I looked thoroughly at the food. “I’m not that experienced with pasta, would you please take the responsibility for it?”

“ **Si bueno, I will make delicious pasta for a great teacher and his awesome brother.” Feliciano said with a wink. He took a bowl and some flour, eggs and other ingredients he knew he would need, then he started to focus on making the dough. He asked Ludwig to mash those tomatoes for the sauce.**

“A great teacher?” I chuckled. “I’ve been your teacher for two days, how can you be so sure I’m a good one?” It was said jokingly, not even a slight hint of seriousness. “I do appreciate the pasta though.” I went back to take the wurst out of the freezer, and also took out some vegetables out of the fridge. “Mash the tomatoes? I can try.”

**“Well, I can’t imagine a teacher doing this for his students.” Feliciano’s voice allowed him to show the respect he was feeling for Ludwig, as well as the gratitude he felt for Ludwig taking him in. Speaking to his brother and allowing the two boys to perhaps start a friendship. “I appreciate very much what you have done for me, because this wasn’t necessary for a teacher to do. You acted out of kindness, and not out of your jobstatus.”**

**He smiled and looked at Ludwig’s arm with a frown. “How long have you been in the army?” He asked, as his eyes traced down the long scar appearing from the teacher’s right arm.**

“I’m just doing what any other human being with a common sense should do,” I said, smiling slightly. “Besides, I can’t bear the thought of abusive guardians. That is one of the things I don’t accept in life.” I started to mash the tomatoes as Feliciano instructed as I put the sausages on the frying pan.   
  
I looked at Feliciano, slightly confused how he managed to know I was in the army but then I realized I was now wearing the tank top I had been wearing underneath my jacket earlier. Some of my battle scars were bound to be visible that way. “Oh well...Not that long. I was accepted into the army as I was eighteen years old and stayed there until I wanted to begin my education for a teacher, which I started at age twenty two. So that means only four years. How come?” I couldn’t help there was more into the innocent question Feliciano had asked. It was too specific, the scarring could have been from a car crash as well.

**“Well, my father and grandfather both went to war, they were both an officer and when grandfather died my dad had actually just reached that position.” Feliciano remembered the silly green costume his father had put on, or at least that was how he as a child had addressed it. “He looked so damn proud in that thing.” Feliciano laughed while shaking his head. “I hope, those are the only scars the war left on you Ludwig. I had seen what it did with my dad at night. It wasn’t pleasant for anyone.” Feliciano sighted. “War changes people.”**

Ludwig sighed, and washed his hands in the sink before resting his hand on Feli’s shoulder. “You are right, war does change people Feli, it’s inevitable.” He smiled wryly. “But don’t worry. I have a strong mind.”

“Thank you for your concern, however. It means a lot.”

**Feliciano looked at him, his gaze strong. And he had this weird feeling in his stomach, perhaps a form of appreciation. He couldn’t name it yet, but it was a feeling he had felt once before.**

**“Have we met before.” Feliciano muttered softly.**

** Yet again, I looked at Feliciano. “I don’t think so,” Ludwig wondered, then he explained. “I wouldn’t know either way.” He pointed at the small scar just above his hairline. “I hit my head in an accident during the war.” He said. “I don’t really recall anything from my childhood.” **

**“I understand, and I’m sorry to hear that.” Feliciano said with much compassion. “You remember me of someone that’s all.” Feliciano said with a grin, remembering the blond boy once again. “But let’s get back to the cooking shall we? The pasta won’t make itself.” He laughed, his voice forming an adorable giggle. One he had to repress plenty of times, and it sounded like he had forced some air out, but it truly was simply a giggle filled with joy.**

**_Thank you mom for letting me meet him._ **

** A small smile made it’s way on my face, and I nodded. “Ja, that sounds good.” I said, walking to turn the wurst in the frying pan. Just as I made his way to the stove I heard a little noise, and he turned to see a small smile on Feliciano’s face. It was then I realised the student had chuckled.  _ That was a nice sound. _ I thought to myself, and smiled. “You should smile more.” My mind said, out of the open. **

**“Thanks.” A big grin showed upon Feliciano’s face as he tried the slight blush those words had given him. He focused back on the pasta, and started cutting the dough. Snickering to himself as he thought of somethings silly allowing his worries to disappear for once. If life only could be this easy, he thought. He loved cooking, doing the dishes. Now he thinks it over he loved to do any type of housework. Maybe he could offer some help in the house, cause the house was actually quite large.**

**“Hey Ludwig, while I’m living here I can help with the shores, not that I’m doing it out of guilt or anything but, I don’t really like sitting around all day.” Feliciano said, if he had spare time where he lived he would often paint or sketch around in his artbook.**

**He liked to draw angels or demons. But most of all he liked to draw humans. He was a bit of a little Michelangelo, he laughed at the idea. At the moment reality harshly reminded him what he was doing and he accidently cut his finger.**

**“Mio Madre!” He yelled. Sucking the blood away from his finger tip.**

Feliciano’s grin had caused my small smile to widen ever so slightly, a small chuckle escaping me. “I suppose that sounds fair.” He mumbled. “Be aware that both my bruder and I are super clean, so there wouldn’t be much to do.” I paused as I was about to suggest the other could cook, but I was interrupted by a sudden scream. I whipped my head to the other, only to see Feliciano having his finger in his mouth and sighed slightly. “Are you alright?” I asked, moving towards the cupboard where the Beilschmidt brothers kept some basic medical supplies. He took out a small band-aid, and moved towards the brunet. “You should be careful.” He said gesturing for Feliciano to hold out his hand.

**Feliciano offered his hand, a bit unsteady. His hand was shaking and he hoped Ludwig wouldn’t realize it wasn’t because of the pain alone. He had that shaken feeling that if they would touch, well he wasn’t sure what exactly would happen yet it made him wary. He was getting some mixed feelings from his first love and Ludwig now. No this wasn’t the same person, nor was this love. He kept repeating to himself, it is wrong and impossible. He sighed and looked up at Ludwig.**

With a stern face, I gently took hold of Feli’s hand, carefully applying the band-aid. The small cut didn’t look too bad, so he didn’t see the need to do anything else with it. “There we go.” I mumbled, looking up to meet Feli’s eyes. “All better.” I said. Though I couldn’t help but notice the spacey, if not conflicted look in the other’s eyes. I was about to say something when Gilbert suddenly came into the room. “ **Hey Lud! The food smells delicious, are you almost done?** ”Out of surprise, I jumped taking a step back from the brunet.

“Ah, Yes I believe we’re done soon…” I gave Feliciano a questioning gaze, with only the slightest bit of concern hidden in them. I was still worried about the emotions I had seen in Feliciano’s golden ones, but I figured I could ask later.

**Feliciano bit his lip in frustration, once again he had been an too open book towards Ludwig. And he is sure that this couldn’t keep happening, he hoped the other would let it slide. “Shall I set up the tablecloth and the plates?” He asked Ludwig, a little embarrassed by Gilbert’s sudden burst into the room. At the same time he also felt a hint of annoyance as well.**

**“Oh those tomatoes seem good, you just need some sugar and some ketchup.” Antonio had taught him the recipe, it would go well great with the wurst Gilbert wanted to eat.**

** “That…would be appreciated.” I said, nodding as I went back to the wurst slicing them is same sized pieces. I was trying the small blush that for some reason had found it’s way towards my face, but the awkwardness in a way I acted hadn’t gone unnoticed by my brother. “Kesesesese,” The albino laughed, but he said nothing about it. **

**“So Feli, How’s life been recently?” Gilbert asked innocently.**

**“Well it could been worse I guess?” Feli said surprised by the sudden question. “And you?” He asked curiously. He was actually truly curious about what Gilbert even did out of school. He seemed like the guy who sits in his room listening to some heavy music while playing air guitar, and jumping on his bed.**

**“Ah, life is awesome.” The albino replied with a laugh.** “ **My blog is running sweetly, and Al recently informed me of this really cool video game. We are definitely gonna play it sometime.** ”  **“Ah, life is awesome.”** “ **Oh and Lud? Toni and Franny’s coming over on Saturday, we’re gonna hang out and stuff** . **”**

" **Hey, has Ludwig told you of the time when we were kids?”**

I listened on with interest, hearing my brother chatting away with Feliciano. His brother had always been like that, accepting and treating everyone the same. He seemed to get along well with Feliciano now, perhaps they simply needed to get to know each other. However I seem to notice Feliciano responded more livelier than usual, something which made me smile. I didn’t look too forward to Saturday. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Francis or Antonio, it was just that they tended to annoy me most of the time often when I was training ir reading, I blessed the fact that it was only Tuesday today.

“Alright dinner is ready!” I called to the both of them.

**“Say Gilbert, how come you don’t date someone yet…?” Feliciano asked bluntly. He had seen plenty of ‘cute’ girls confessing to Gilbert all to be rejection. He definitely had a lot of female fans on the school, he wondered if the silvered haired boy was clueless or afraid of the feminine sex.**

I perked at the question from where I was bringing the food to the table where the two were currently sitting by. I scoffed. “Date? Mein bruder is simply too stupid to even notice when girls flirt with him.” I stated, not necessarily meant in a mean way, but I had seen my brother get flirted to countless of times. Gilbert on the other hand, looked wounded at his brother’s words. “Me? Stupid? Please, big brother, you must be mistaken, I’m awesome.” Getting a bit more serious, the albino turned to Feli to reply to the question at hand. “Well, you see, the awesome me is too awesome to date people. They can’t handle my awesomeness.” He winked. “Then again, even as perverted as I am, I seriously don’t like it when girls almost push their boobs in my face.” A frown appeared. “Like, seriously what have the girls of today come to? Don’t they have any self worth?”

**Feli coughed three times hiding the words ‘that’ ‘so’ ‘gay’ under it. He chuckled sweetly at Gilbert, grinning the whole time. He looked at Ludwig who was smiling and asked. “Do you like the pasta?” He looked at the plate who was still untouched. “Do you prefer some cheese with the sauce as well?” He didn’t intent to wink at Ludwig but in a simple act he just did. He felt at ease with the two brothers even though Gilbert had been bullying him for three years, it seemed like all was going well.**

**He had his phone on vibrating, but the feeling that they hadn’t called him yet worried Feliciano. Very much he had no idea what his adoption parent was thinking now, and for some reason he didn’t like it as well.**

Gilbert was tempted to act offended at the words the Italian boy was clearly hiding, but he decided against it and grinned instead. It wasn’t like it was far from the truth anyways although Gilbert preferred the term Demi-sexual (He knew how to google as well). However, it was funny to see how his brother was interacting with Feliciano. His bruder had mentioned something about a broken home, but he seemed infinitely more cheerful as he spoke to Lud even going as far as to tease him. Ludwig at the other hand was, as expected blushing on a whole new level because of it. Still it was weird to see him not eating, probably he was thinking of something, if it was like that…

You wouldn’t think Feliciano came from such a household unless you noticed the purple bruise that became visible whenever Feliciano looked at his pocket, which what Gilbert expected held his phone. He recalled his brother’s words. “ _ If he returns tonight I’m surely he won’t get to school alive the next morning.” _ Suddenly the mood around the table made so much more sense.

I decided to change the mood however, when I noticed it. “Feli,” I started, having just swallowed a bit of food. “This pasta is amazing.” And honestly I meant every word, surprised even by the talent from my student. I always had been a picky eater, never was too fond of food yet it was extremely tasty this time around. I looked uncertainly at the boy as well, cheeks still a soft red. “You put cheese in the sauce? That is something I never thought of.” I mumbled, not quite able to come with something intelligent to say after having seen that wink.

**Feli held his hand in front of his mouth, trying his hardest not to start laughing. He gave himself the time, taking deep breaths and wiped away a tear. “Thanks Ludwig that was kind of you to say.” Not quite long his phone started vibrating. A darkened gloom appearing over Feliciano’s face. “Can you excuse me for a minute.” He went to the hallway, not long after he ran with all his might out of the door. He had firstly missed a call to have a text message right after.**

**[text from: Lovibro~] Help me brother!**

**“Lovi you better not be home right now.” Feliciano said with a pain face, not noticing he had dropped his phone at the doorway. He looked to see if he recognized one of the bus-stop.**

**“Shit!” He swore when he saw the bus drive away as soon as he arrived. Pulling on his shoe, so they wouldn’t fall out and decided to run the distance.**

 

 


	10. Things get out of hand!

The Beilschmidt brothers were glad to see Feliciano happy by the words, because all of them were true. But at the same time both knew what was going on when Feliciano excused himself, having just looked at the phone. Wordlessly I left the table just a few minutes after the boy, and it was clear to Gilbert that I, his brother had no intent of letting Feliciano go home this night. So when I noticed the disappearance of the brunet I soon called my brother asking to check with Antonio.

Gilbert noticed the text message as well and immediately pulled out his phone, dialing his friend’s number. He suspected that Feliciano’s brother wouldn’t be home as Antonio only refused game night when his boyfriend was staying at his place. While waiting three incredible long rings, Gilbert had tensed his jaw so hard it hurt himself. When his friend finally did pick up and greeted him with : “Hola, amigo, que pasa?” He decided to get as much information out as soon as possible, skipping the friendliness. “Tony where is your boyfriend is he with you?” The spaniard seemed confused, but he could almost hear the nod before the spaniard realized the other couldn’t see him. “Si he is here? He fell asleep while watching a movie earlier. He forgot his phone and I didn’t had the heart to wake him, why?” Gilbert wasn’t sure how to answer, so he made it short. “Make sure he stays with you. His brother Feliciano is staying with us, don’t let them get home.” Hopefully his friend knew about their adoptive parents situation

Now I knew the other’s brother was in safety, I had no time wasting to run after Feliciano, I was glad I had changed out of my suit earlier and was dressed in just pants and the tank top, making it easier for me to run in. I knew who had been calling, I hadn’t however expected them to sink low enough to lure Feliciano by using the kid's brother for hell's sake. I had planned to call them after dinner, since I believed they would still be angry with him and waited. I hoped Feliciano’s adoptive parents were at least giving me that much time to clearly make a statement. To my luck the bus Feliciano wanted to take had driven by, still I hadn’t expected that the young male would still continue his run. It would not be too difficult to catch up with him however, thanks due all the training I had done in the army corps.

“Feli!” I shouted to the other, but Feliciano just kept silent. I thought he hadn’t heard me. Or maybe he simply refused to listen, thinking his brother wasn’t safe. I wanted to take him back to my place, keep him away as far as possible from his guardian's house. There was something in my mind telling me to ‘catch up to him, speak with him, and tell him to bring his stuff from his home and get out of there as quick as possible. All to never having to go back to that place ever again.’ With that thought in my mind I decided what I wanted to do with this situation.

I finally catched up with the other, holding him still so he couldn’t run anymore. Firstly Feliciano struggled against my grip, but then he became silent. We tried to breath in and out, both gasping for air from all the running. That’s when I spoke in a tone that meant no compromising, and that this was an order that needed to be done.

“Feliciano listen to me your brother is okay. He isn’t here, he is with Antonio Gilbert called him. He is safe, If you are going in that house, pack everything you need in a  hurry and come out immediately understood. Don’t stay there, just get what you need and come out again. I’ll speak with your guardians when you come out, just please don’t stay there tonight.” The last sentence had a hint of desperation hidden in it, but I wasn’t the type who would admit it. Carefully I let the boy go and I mumbled. “I’ll be behind you if you get in danger alright.”

**Feliciano catches his breath as soon as Ludwig stopped him, it felt like his lungs were burning with flames while the cold started to crawl into his skin. He shivered because of the rain. He didn’t take his jacket with him, he needed to get home. Actually somewhere he knew Lovino wouldn’t be home, but what upset him most was the fact that Roderich could only have managed to get Lovino’s phone if the brother had forgotten it in his room again. Meaning he had broken into their room, and that made his mother’s jewelry box unsafe.  And if Lovino and he were not home Roderich had only one person left to torment. His adoptive mother, his dear wife who had often crawled into Feliciano’s bed crying, screaming they made her marry a monster against her will. Her parents had arranged this marriage. She often pleaded she didn’t love Roderich, both sharing a similar secret that big it would be more than problematic if Roderich ever found out. He knew that she only beat him with half-assed force to please Roderich, he had seen the pain every time she did. When he came out she had filled herself with jealousy and grief, and finally she became a monster herself. But deep down he believed she wasn’t really given a choice.**

**“F-feliciano?!” Elisaveta gasped. “Why in heavens are you home.” Feliciano shook his head. “Because...that would mean you are home mom.” It was the first time in years Feliciano had addressed her this way. And Elisaveta broke into tears, dripping on the expensive dress she found disgusting but still wore for her husband placement. “Are you...you came for me?” She sobbed, taking sharp choked breaths between words. Feliciano nodded. “I came to save you mom.” Feliciano said gentle, forgiving. He grabbed her by her hand. It was then when a drunk male hitted him on his head. “Ah the fag with my disgusting Lesbian wife.” Roderich spoke with a double tongue. “You told him! Do you want to get killed.” It was then Feliciano took a closer look at Elisaveta, the crack on her lip and the cut above her eye. Together at what was becoming a shade of blue as well as some swelling on her cheek. SHe had been crying even before he came home, Roderich had beaten her. “Ha-ha-ha so it was true, you trust fags more than your husband.” Roderich laughed while spitting in her face. “No wonder your parents sold you to me like you were a bloody whore.”**

**“Why do you hate us so much?” Feli cried in complaint. This caused Elisaveta to smile. “Oh I can tell you why!”**

**“Why you were young Feliciano, your father actually I mean Roderich not your real father had have some rendezvous with his wanted to be lover while being married to me, this was before the fire.” Roderich’s eyes widened. “You knew?” He started grinding his teeth. “Oh I knew you bought those young lads, bringing them into our bed, promising them the world and they being the cause of our financial problems.” She grinned. “And they all broke your petite heart like you did with mine.”**

**“He is gay!” Feliciano yelped out loud. “Damn you brat, you with your horrible looks you looks so much like your father yet that disgusting voice of yours is clearly the same sickening voice of that slut of a mother of yours.”**

**“Oh I understand, you were in love with my father weren’t you! Why did you kill him then!” Felciano bit back at him, Roderich slammed him with his cane.** **  
** **  
** **“You killed him didn’t you! I take that beat as a yes!” Feliciano screamed, his saliva was getting mixed with some blood. His lip was cut and his cheek was cut from the inside, the blood stained the just cleaned floor.**

**“I..No..He was meant to run away with me, but instead he ran into the house I set on fire, to rescue that filthy woman of his.” Elisaveta shook her head. “Feliciano he forgets to tell you something important. Not only did your father die trying to protect your mother, his one true love, he also ran out of the flames holding you and your brother.” She smiled sadly at her adoptive son, with pained but gentle eyes, eyes she had only showed him before. Eyes he hadn’t seen for a long time, not since he wasn’t a child anymore.**

**“Watch out!” Feliciano pushed Elisaveta to the side when Roderich tried to hit her with his cane. “Feliciano are you alright?” Elisaveta screamed grabbing the nearest thing to protect her son with. It ironically appeared to be the same frying pan in which she had hit him countless of times with, she directed it towards the offender, her husband. “You did enough Feli, you can run away.” She locked her eyes with Roderich. “Don’t look back when you go.”**

**“I can’t mother he is too strong for you. I couldn’t protect mom and dad, but I can protect you!”. With that Elisaveta quickly kissed his forehead, she knew Feli’s back still hurt due to the bruises she had seen this morning, so she helped him stand. “Don’t worry I’ll handle things.”**

**“I please...Ludwig help us!” Feli yelled as he noticed Roderich pressing a switch on his cane and pulling out a dagger.**


	11. The savior we all need.

Feliciano may not have known it, but I hadn’t been far behind. I had always been close enough to hear what they were talking about recording the man’s confession with my phone. As soon as I heard the woman ask with a scream whether the boy was alright or not, I entered the building, phone in my pocket. Not caring whether I was welcome or not, dashing to Feliciano and instantly pushing him aside before the blade could get near him. My body long since working on adrenaline alone. “Go grab your stuff!” Feliciano’s body trembled. “Now Feli!”

With that I turned from Feliciano who dashed out the door, and turned to protect the lady who too shook with fear. I knew she was undoubtedly going to be Feliciano’s saving grace, if she acted as I hoped she would. She may handle the key that I needed to free Feliciano from this crazy adult in front of him, who now was wobbling on his feet too drunk to move too quickly.

“Excuse me, Miss.” I mumbled, walking in front of her and without warning managed to take the weapon out of the male's hands. “My apologies, but I sincerely do not agree with your ways.” I hissed towards the man on instinct, but stopped soon enough and turned to the woman, making sure the man in front of me wouldn’t dare to do anything to hurt her. “Do you have some rope?” I asked, and was soon presented with a large steady ribbon from her dress. “This is fine, it will work.” I told her. With it, I bound the man who wobbling tried to run away, yet fell over his own feet in his drunk state.

“Sir, I am doing this so that you are not to hurt us, do you understand.” I asked, I may only have been in the military for four years, but I had authority enough to keep people out of harm's way. “My intention tonight is to let your foster son gather his things and come to my house to stay, since you so clearly are doing injustice to him. I am taking responsibility of his safety in my own hands. The same goes to your wife behind me, no matter which side she may be on.”

I noticed Feliciano walking into the room holding his foster mother's hand. I stood up seeing the man had drifted asleep and walked over to Feliciano. “Are you alright?” I murmured, inspecting the other’s cheek carefully. Felciano had been hurt again, but he could heal it when they were home. My current objective being Feliciano’s things were completed and now the only thing left to do was bring the boy himself back to safety, if the woman wanted to as well I could offer her a room, but I would have hawk-eyes on her if she decided to come.

When the police arrived, and all had done their statements. Completed with pictures of the bruises, who looked far more terrible than I had imagined we found the three of us standing outside breathing the cold fresh air. The woman who had introduced herself to me turned to Feliciano and sadly spoke. “I’m going to say farewell to you, Feliciano.” Elisaveta said with a gentle undertone, it was the same tone she had used on Feliciano when he was just a child.

**“Are y-you going to be okaaay…” Feliciano cried, finally they were released from the evil man’s clutches.**

** “Yes honey, I will be fine. I’m happy to tell you that I’m dating someone, I think you would be surprised to find out as this is someone you know but she wants to keep it quiet her mother is more against it then Roderich does.” She gently smiled. **

****“Mom…!” Feliciano threw himself in her arms, and she hugged him back.** **

While Feliciano was being getting his photos of the bruises seeing he had the most and the worst looking Ludwig had asked both policemen and Elisaveta for a favor. They decided that perhaps it was best to tell Feliciano as well.   
  
“We, I mean Ludwig and I have put Ludwig as your new caretaker.” She said with a soft smile. “I want you to take good care of my son, seeing he seems to trust you this much I think he will be safest with him being with you.” She looked the man in his eyes. “I’m a firm believer eyes are a reflection of the soul, and your eyes have such radiant gentleness and kindness, so I expect you to not disappoint me.”

I nodded, watching the paper in hand I had signed. The official procedure would be taken into court but since Elisaveta personally had given permission the police gave Ludwig permission to have Feliciano in his care until the case would be taken to court. I took a piece of paper and wrote down my email and phone number. “If you could please send me a copy of your email, you and Feliciano can keep in contact this way - it’s safer.”

“Do you have your things Feliciano, or do you need to get something.”

**Feliciano shook his head. Giving his mother a last kiss on her cheek. “We can go.” He said as he watched her wave him off. He was overcome with a great sense of sadness, but at the same time he firmly believed things would get better. Lovino would stay with both Elisaveta’s lover and her and often enough Antonio.**

**“I’m sorry I ran off.” Feli bowed his head in shame. “I’m also sorry for putting you in danger.” His voice was dripping with the guilt he was feeling, they were walking in the rain, and the sun had been gone night appearing.**

**“It’s getting too dark.” Feli said, holding onto Ludwig’s arm afraid of what could happen now there only was streetlights to show the way. It often brought back memories of the fire, due to the smoke blinding him. However as he scarly peaked at Ludwig he was shaken by how gentle his teacher looked with only those streetlight lighting their path home. He stared down on the wet road instead not wanting to slip and drag Ludwig on the ground. When they arrived Feli noticed he forgot his phone, he started to tremble. It had been the first gift Lovino had given him, for his sixteenth birthday. “My phone…?”**

At home Gilbert was wondering what was taking them so long, yet Gilbert trusted his brother, and he figured they would be back soon. Besides, if they got into trouble then the albino wouldn’t really know where to go anyway, so he figured the best he could do is wait.

I however, was glad to be out of the house once the fresh air from outside was hitting my face. I really didn’t mind the rain. Much like the air, it was refreshing and it helped me clear my mind working on adrenaline from the inside. When the other apologized, I let a small wry smile come to my face and I halted, somehow attempting to get eye contact with the younger boy. “It’s fine, don’t worry.” I let my hand carefully graze over the other’s cheek. “We still need to put some ice on this, however.” I mumbled and proceeded to continue on our journey home.

While I hadn’t really expected it, it somehow wasn’t a surprise either when Feli took a hold of my arm, I hadn’t known the other for long but I figured it would be so Feliciano- like for him to be afraid of the dark. At least that was what I guessed based on his he had mentioned the dark and then tightened his hold around my arm. And despite the fact that I still wanted to be treated as the respectable person I was back in the military, I let my hand slide down and take hold of Feliciano’s, if only to reassure him I was there. Nothing was going to happen to him on my watch.

“Hm? Your phone?” I asked when the other spoke of it, and I remembered picking it up from the ground before I had caught up to Feli and held him there. “You mean this one?” I asked gentle, holding it up for the other to see a gentle smile on my face as well.

**“Thank you so much, I wouldn’t been able to live with myself if I lost it.” Feliciano told himself not to cry, he gently hugged Ludwig and said on a soft tone. “Thank you, for everything.” Even though he didn’t really see the expression Ludwig was currently having due to the darkness, it made Feliciano smile brightly towards the blond male. And he felt on this moment his life was different, perhaps it would have been changed for good. A sudden thump in his chest alarmed him and he got himself flustered. He thought it could only be loyalty what he was feeling, after all he wouldn’t fall in love. He swore to himself, that now he knew happiness he couldn’t allow himself to lose it by such a trivial feeling. The conflicted feelings he felt, made him mentally cuss. It felt like his heart would throb out of his chest. He slowly breaths in and out.**

**“Are you like my dad now, with the paper you signed.” The sudden realization hit him, and somehow actually became a reason to never love this man from now on.** **  
** **  
** **He realized that this moment his life was different and although it would be changed for good, it also would never be the same.**

 


	12. We’ll be counting scars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes an update - this fic never died. It's back and counts 1478 words. I felt bad for the neglectment of this fic but graduation and collage made it hard for me. I also felt like taking a break since I had a writersblock.
> 
> I hope for those who liked the fic before that you continue to like it.
> 
> I plan to write the next chapter after my exams. (I'm a high schooler now). Still sorry for any errors written, English isn't my mother language and the only method I had to learn English was in 3 hours of class and movies mostly (and Anime because subs)
> 
> I know this is slowbuild but the nswf moments are drawing near. So soon a warning will be needed. Violence triggers are about to end (for now). [sneaky spoiler ?]
> 
> I'm glad to be back. Enjoy this chapter and see you all soon ^^.

A small chuckle escaped when I returned the hug Feliciano offered me. I easily managed to bury my nose in the smaller brunette's neck because I was taller. Feliciano hadn’t really noticed the difference.   
  
Oh well it didn’t matter. What mattered now was that Feliciano was safe, in his own way. Even though he had been more unexpected than planned. I sighed contently, tightening the hug without realizing what I was doing. I didn’t know why I felt this slight tightening feeling of protectiveness of my student. It was strange, certainly when I realized I only knew this Italian for just mere two days. I could only think, that perhaps it took time for me to realize.

When Feliciano addressed me as his father I felt my body freeze. A bit awkwardly, I looked down at the street with a faint blush on my cheeks. “I- Er please don’t call me like that.” I muttered. “I mean if you want to but...I just.” I took a deep sharp breath, trying to get rid of the sudden uneasiness. “I think it’s weird of me to think of you as my ‘son’ when you are a few years younger than me.” I paused, looking up to meet the amber eyes, who had an interesting color as soon as the streetlights hit his iris. “We are friends, ja?”

**“Si~ We are.” Feliciano said with an awkward smile. They seemed to have been walking for a long while, his eyes falling on the Beilschmidt brothers house and noticed the lights were still on. “Oh..I guess I have made Gilbert worry about us.” Shame and guilt buried deep down in his stomach and he started to mutter under his breath. His mind wandering and all the sudden he realized something and yelped out.**

**“Wait a minute! Doesn’t this make Gill my** **_uncle_ ** **now?!” Feliciano said confused, his voice raised and he stared at the blond who now stood protectively in front of him. “Ludwig?” Feliciano whispered, his face doubtful and he wondered his actions a little careful. He hoped this wasn’t crossing any lines. He gathered his courage standing tiptoes and quickly placed a quick kiss on Ludwig’s cheek. “Thank you, once again.”**

**With that he turned away from Ludwig, his face a shameful red and started to head towards the house.**

At the Italians comment, I looked towards the window of my home. It was indeed on, but not in Gilbert’s room, so he could have gone to bed. Still there was only way to find out and that was going inside - something I was about to suggest when…

_ “Wait a minute! Doesn’t this make Gill my uncle now?!” _

That lone comment caused me to look towards Feliciano again, my expression unreadable. I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous remark. “I’m sorry Feli, but I don’t think he would not like to be called ‘uncle’ that would simply make him feel even more ‘unawesome’ ”.

I noticed the petite brunette move his arms, and to my surprise I felt his lips on my cheek. Frozen for a while, I noticed him saying his gratitude but had too look away because my cheeks started to flare up. I wasn’t used to this type of skinship, and the body contact had startled me. Well I wasn’t used to this with friends, at least. “I- errr - What?” I looked away, shyly trying not to question the meaning of the gesture and yell. Keeping the surroundings in mind and what happened before into thought, and decided to keep quiet. I didn’t want to wake up anyone nearby, besides I can’t possibly yell towards my students like I did in the army. ****

**  
Clearing my throat, I looked once more at Feli, my cheeks redder than should be humanly possible. “I told you, no problem.” I diverted my gaze again, this wasn’t something that was done in this household- but Feliciano was Italian, this could be normal to him.   
  
** “Maybe we should go inside.” I proposing the breeze that was flying about. It had been raining earlier, so there would be an even bigger chance of Feliciano getting sicker. And I didn’t want to get sick now summer vacation just had ended, especially in my first year of teaching. “We wouldn’t want to get sick. Besides, it’s late. We should sleep.”

**Feliciano looked back at his teacher and nodded, blushing slightly and muttered. “I hope we don’t wake Gilbert, I still feel troubled that I may have upset him because of what happened...earlier.” He swallowed when finally the realization of today’s events came to him, and his body started to softly tremble as he realized what would have happened if Ludwig hadn’t dashed in to save him earlier.**

**“A-Ah I’m so sleepy.” He said with a shaking voice. “I still have to go to school t-tomorrow after all.”He wiped his eyes, surprised by the tears that were forming in his eyes. He wondered if this stinging feeling was him being tired or him being close to having a major panic attack. His knees started to shake and he accidentally walked into the door, his shoulder hitting the frame. He whimpered in pain. “Ah my back.” He said with a sharp breath, mentally cursing himself for being a klutz in a moment like this. The punishment of yesterday and what had happened a few hours before almost dragged him over the edge of tears.** **  
**

**He turned to Ludwig, fear lingering in his eyes. “Can...I ask something selfish?” He weakly smiled at the blond. “C-can I sleep with you...I’m scared.”**

I grinned and almost had to laugh: “I don’t think we’ll wake my bruder up even if we tried. He’s a heavy sleeper and won’t waken if there was an orchestra playing in his very room. Basically the reason he got a special designed alarm clock for his birthday.” However as I said this I noticed the tiredness of the brunette, I immediately went in to see if I could find an extra pair of bed-sheets. Yet again I stopped in my tracks when I noticed the other was in so much pain.

_ “Can I ask something selfish? C-Can I sleep with you...I’m scared.” _

At this I sighted, already sensing this to happen after seeing how much Feliciano had clung against me. I nodded: “Sure, just come here with me for a small while,” I murmured softly making sure to be quiet. I walked out of the kitchen where I had found some basic supplies and gestured for Feliciano to sit down. Taking the first aid kit out of the kitchen that I had used to treat Feli’s cut when we had been making dinner, finding some basic supplies that I would need. “We should probably do what we can to make the wound better,” I said, both tone and eyes gentle. “If your back hurts too much I know some basic messages that can help lessen the pain.”

**Feliciano looked at the teacher with a bright smile. He felt joyous and appreciated for someone to for once seem to genuinely care about him. His mind wandered and he chuckled at the thought that if Ludwig would keep this up he would end up being too spoiled. The soft laugh however made him flinch in pain and his rib started to sting. “Ha-ha-auw…” He said with shortened breaths and sat down just like Ludwig had ordered him to.**

**He hoped the wounds would look less severe as he felt they were, mostly because he couldn’t quite manage blood in a larger scale. Especially his own. He gazed at the taller blond with widened eyes, for once more conscious about the bruises than he normally was. He had hit them for years and now, someone his teacher and friend and guardian would see them and he couldn’t help but feel a little bit anxious and vulnerable about it. The moment Ludwig pulled his blouse above his head in order to see the wound on his flesh he couldn’t help but stop his breath.It made him feel bare when not only the bruises but the marks of erased cuts and scars became visible to the other as well. Even Lovino hadn’t seen those, and now he started to worry what Ludwig would thought about his awful way of coping. The acts of punishment, for being a horrible son and a horrible human being by liking men more then women had pushed him close to the edge. At least Lovino was bisexual, he often thought. This was why he felt a sting in his chest ever since Lovino walked into his room, crying how he loved Antonio and wanted to live with him. Feliciano took every beating to distract Roderich’s gaze from Lovino. And he could still feel the guilt from thinking it wasn’t fair how Lovino had managed to escape the wrath of Roderich and was happily in love with Antonio who had been their childhood friend, he had been envious and at times jealous. But when he had seen his brother coughing blood and returning from the hospital visits, he couldn’t hate his brother for being happy.**

I carefully inspected the wound and frowned, this was far worse than I had imagined. This didn’t look good at all, I felt a slight surprise rising that the other could even walk at this point. I sighed, and gently started to tend one of the wounds. “Are you alright?” I asked, making sure I was as careful as I could be. The entirety of Feliciano didn’t look good and with the punch Feli had taken earlier today...I could only guess this wasn’t the first time he had been that badly beaten. All of those scars made me somber, for some reason. Feliciano had no need to have them, he didn’t deserve this.

After a small while, the only damage that was left was the one on Feliciano’s cheek. Mine and Feliciano’s eyes met for the first time since I started to treat his injuries. I noticed how they were filled with apprehension, but behind it I could see a small hint of trust, and that in itself caused me to smile.

“Almost done.” I whispered, and I let my fingers graze over his cheek, looking for any sign of pain. I could see a slight hint of it, so I made a mental note to be extra careful. As I worked on it I started to talk to the other, allowing him a possible distraction. Something had been bothering me ever since I walked out of the teacher lounge.

“How was school...before I came?”


	13. No bandage could have healed me more than your words.

**“It- it was hard.” Feliciano admitted his gaze no longer directed to Ludwig, but instead to the tiles of the kitchen floor. He knew one day he would need to tell Ludwig everything, including the story the teachers hid from the outside world. It was a disturbing feeling, although deep down he knew he could trust Ludwig. After all he had done the story became the ghost of a pain that had held him captive for too long, yet it was barely more than a whisper.**

**“There was a teacher, Miss Natalya Arlovskaya. She…” He took a sharp breath. “Was meant to be the counselor of my class, the class you are replacing. She was the f-” He swallowed as tears started to drip on his hands. He waited to get his voice to steady again. “Was the first I told that I was gay.” He started to tremble as he continued the story. “She appeared to had some form of attraction of me, and when I told her about my sexuality she started to harass me by spreading the fact around the school.” He bit his lip and his body tensed when he recalled everything. “In the beginning it wasn’t too bad, she hid my homework so I had to repeat a year. The students feared this teacher so she forced some to bully me as well.”**

**“The worst thing was when she ordered some students to attack me and drag me into the classroom…” His eyes widened and he shook his head. “I’m sorry…” He started to sob, realizing he had admitted he was gay out loud to Ludwig and questioned if he had disgusted Ludwig by all this. “Please don’t hate me.” His voice hitched in panic. “I’m sorry, It’s not like I look at you that way, okay I - I mean of course you are attractive, but you are older than me and my teacher and I am really at the point of rambling things I definitely shouldn’t say and let me shut up now.” His face had gotten from a ghostly pale to a lobster red. “Uh...Can I go now?” He said with uncertainty.**

I frowned hard as I listened to the story Feliciano was telling me. A teacher shouldn’t do these things especially not to a student. I too noticed that there was something big Feli was hiding, but his body demeanor screamed that he was far from ready to tell. Nobody should have the idea to use their own position to use this against anyone. Teachers were supposed to give their students motivation, not worsen or traumatize them. Because that was the feeling Feliciano was giving me, whatever the teacher had inflicted him. At that moment I realized why Feliciano had so much difficulties with my classroom. Something had happened to him, at that moment it seemed that Feliciano had realized something, and I gave a confused glance at the other’s ramble, though his cheeks reddened ever so slightly again. I chose to ignore the...compliments? For now however.

“Hate you?” I asked, still tending to the wound on the Italian’s cheek. “Why would I hate you?” I kneel a little, making it so that we were at the same eye level. “There is nothing wrong with being gay.” I smiled gently. “If I were to hate you because of that, I wouldn’t be a good person, now would I?”

**“I...honestly wouldn’t know…” Feliciano whispered, a tiny smile on his lips. “I guess, I’m not used to being accepted for it yet.” When Ludwig met his eyes, his eyes widened. He felt as if the blond could see inside his soul and somewhat deep down that was a scary thought.**

**“I- I uhm yeah...thanks for treating my wounds.” Feliciano said aware of the coldness of the kitchen air against his skin. “So...I guess it’s time to sleep now?” His voice trembled as he felt shy and perhaps even a bit insecure. It was the first time he would share a bed with a man - especially after stating that he was gay. Even his brother Lovino didn’t share his bed when they were little. He smiled thinking to himself.** **_Well there is always a first time for anything._ ** **He chuckled when he remembered his brother kicking him out the bed yelling: “Mine!”**

**He had been sleeping in the guest room. At times Elissaveta crawled herself in his bed when he had a nightmare, or at times when Elissaveta felt an urge to cry. It wasn’t like Roderich and Elissaveta still slept together.**

It somehow made me feel sad to think that Feliciano wasn’t used to being accepted. Because honesty, he was a boy full of surprises and possibilities especially in the course he was teaching. He had noticed in Feliciano’s assignment that he had a gifted eye for both history and art history. He realized when he noticed all the crippling anxiety in the younger male’s demeanor that they had pushed Feliciano so far down he couldn’t believe in himself any longer. At least, now I hoped that things would turn out for the better now. Yet again as I grazed over Feliciano’s cheek, only this time one that wasn’t damaged I softly spoke : “No problem.” I said with a smile, “And yes, I suppose we should sleep now,” I said glancing at the clock. It was already 11.

Reaching out my hand, I stood up and smiled once more. “Come we have school tomorrow.”


	14. From nightmares - sweet dreams to awkward showers.

**One thing Feli didn’t mention is that he often got nightmares involving the fire. Today was no difference from before. A second thing he didn’t tell Ludwig was his habit to sleep nude. He controlled himself and decided to only take off his shirt. After an hour of laying down, Feli started to sweat. “I-I “ He cried out. His dream involved a flying pasta monster, Roderich being the one in control. “Ve...I’m scared…” He whimpered, clinging to Ludwig in his sleep.**

** They went to bed surprisingly quickly after that, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Feli wasn’t comfortable. And I knew how difficult it was to sleep when you weren’t comfortable. I had been in a war, after all. So when  the other whimpered that he was scared, I couldn’t help but turn around, turn on a weak light behind me. As soon as I had done this, I turned back to Feliciano and hesitantly, laid a comforting hand around his waist. “Don’t worry, I’m here. It’s alright,” I muttered, holding the other boy close. **

**The spaghetti monster got his slimy spaghetti arms around Italy’s waist. “N-Nooooo.” He cried out, this was until the monster shifted into a very handsome and familiar person and Roderich faded. Feliciano clung to dream Ludwig's chest. In his dream Ludwig he offered feli a warm and gentle hug. “Ludwig?” He whispered as he dreamed that Ludwig laid down a hand on his chest. He chuckled nervously. This turned into a blush as Ludwig’s breath  on his ear. Like a soft breath that made his stomach twirl, he suppressed a soft cry and moan. In his dream the blonde kissed his neck causing Feliciano to shift in his sleep. Before the dream could take a drastic turn Feli awoke with a sharp gasp.**

**The first thing he noticed was the distance between him and Ludwig. How his leg had managed to intertwine with Ludwig’s.**

**“What happened?!” He yelped surprised.**

I was surprisingly awake that night, I was silently hoping it wouldn’t show the next day in school. When I was tired I usually had a much shorter temper, and I really didn’t want it to go out over the people in my class. Oh well.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a few strange noises from Feli, and the Italian clinged even closer to me. “...Feli?” I mumbled, wondering if the other was awake, but it soon enough showed that he was in fact asleep. Feliciano moaned, and feeling a certain bulge next to my leg it soon became evident to what Feli was dreaming about, causing my blush to flare, hotter than any fire possibly could be. I stopped myself from reacting too much. “C’mon Ludwig, it’s natural to have those kinds of dreams, you’ve been through them yourself,” I thought, but just as I thought I managed to keep my honor, Feli mumbled that one simple word that changed everything.

_ It was my name. _

Oh mein gott. If anything, I was pretty sure my blush spread to all corners of my body, and even though it would be difficult to see, I was pretty sure I was red to even the tips of my ears. As if things could only get worse, it seemed like Feliciano was waking up. I sighed inwardly, feeling an incredible need to hide in a corner or something of the like. It was natural all right, but when the one you were dreaming about was right next to you it became even worse. Therefore I did something that I hoped would help. I pretended to be asleep. Maybe Feli wouldn’t notice, and then I could pretend it never happened. 

_ Yeah, good plan. _

Then again, now I would be haunted by the fact that Feli had dreamed of me in such a way, and it was going to eat away in my brain…

**It was probably better than the awkward moment that was bound to happen.**

**“Merda.” Feliciano softly swore “** **_Why of all people , no rather why when he was sleeping next to…oh god”_ ** **And he had school tomorrow. He tiptoes to the hallway.  hitting his toe in the progress. “Gill Gill!!! I need you Gilbert” Feli knocked on Gilbert door.**

Gilbert was having quite a good dream that night, and sleep was better than what it had been for the past few days. That may have been the reason as to why he was ever so slightly grumpy when he was awoken in the middle of the night. Then he noticed who he was awoken by. “Huh, Feli? Can’t my bruder help you?”

**Feli’s eyes became wide when the other brother was mentioned.  “NOOOOOOOOOO!” He yelled. “My God Gill! Please let me stay the night with you I’m fucking scared to sleep alone and Ludwig is no option either, because… Please...” He cried like a little child. “Please Gill. I will keep this a secret….PLEASE!!!”**

Okay, so Gilbert hadn’t exactly expected that reaction from the Italian. At all. “Whoa, whoa, calm your everything there. Why isn’t my bruder an option?” He sat up and eyed the Italian. “Did something happen?”

**“Uhm how do I say this. your brother….Puta, okay so I , Feliciano, and I’ll cut you if you tell one of your buds about this or anyone especially Ludwig. so I uh….got a..b-b-b-b-.....waaah” He got red. “I got a you know. I’m guy after all.” He looked at Gilbert wondering if he got any clue what he is talking about.**

It took Gilbert a long while before he got it. A long one. As in, he had to stare at the Italian's face for forever before he noticed the bulge in the other’s pants. And then he chuckled. “Oh man, this is just like Luddy’s awkward teenage years again.” He grinned. “No problem, Feli, I won’t say.” He held up his hands in front of him. “Guy’s promise.” The albino eyed the other for a second, wanting to tease the Italian somehow, though he wasn’t completely sure if he was to do it. Besides, there was that one thing nagging at the back of his mind. “So, why can’t my bruder know about this again? He’s more mature than I am.”

**“Uhm Gill, I know this is awkward but, uh, how to uhm, say get down boy on this?”  Feli said awkward.. “It’s uhm, kinda a first uhm….uhm...uhm” He didn’t know what to say anymore. He sighed and then got an angry look “Down boy” He is fricking dying inside. Why him of all people. He didn’t get boners….before.**

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. “You’re avoiding my question,” He noted, but he ignored it for now. “Anyway, you can’t tell me that you haven’t masturbated before?” He chuckled. “Man, that’s a ball of innocence if I’ve ever seen one.” He snickered and then shrugged. “Well, masturbation is always a choice, if not you can try thinking not so attractive thoughts… A cold shower might help with that, but I can’t guarantee it.” He thought for a second. “A shower would be recommended anyway though, because our shower is loud enough to drown out any other sound you make, if you catch my drift.” He winked. “Anyhow, showers are pretty normal in this house… And if you want to shower before class tomorrow that would be smart, since both West and I shower in the morning.”

**“What other noises?” The boy asked innocently. “Oh thanks for the tips Gill, I think that comes in handy…..Oh I didn’t mean it like that…” Feli could hit himself in the stomach. “Uhm one more thing where is the shower ?” The brunette asked looking how big the house was, he could easily find himself lost.**

Yet again Gilbert lifted an eyebrow. “You actually haven’t masturbated before, have you? Like, touched yourself in your private places?” He asked, gesturing to both men’s penises. “Man, you are really missing out on something here.” He stood up. “When you masturbate you often moan or groan, ya know? It feels so good ya can’t help it. When the ladies do it they tend to be more quiet, but oh well.” He stepped out the door and headed up the hallway, passing Is room. He spoke in a more hushed tone from there on, and opened the door next to his brothers room. “The shower is in here,” He said, allowing the Italian to pass him before he entered himself. “You turn it on by twisting that knob over there, and the heat is controlled by the knob beneath it. Be warned though, it can get pretty hot.” He turned to a nearby shelf and grabbed a towel. “Here ya got something to dry up with,” He said matter-of-factly, no longer thinking of this a situation to tease Feli in. He could do that later. “And that’s it, unless ya have any more questions. I still think you should go back to Lud’s bed though, he might wonder where you’ve been if he wakes up in the morning without you.”

**“I can’t.” he gets tears in his eyes. “I mean he accepted me being gay but this is a whole different thing.” And then he started to panic “What if it doesn’t work. I can’t live with this thing it’s weird it’s grossing me out.” Feli started crying again. He felt like every twelve year old at one time, but he was 18 this was weird.  It was like a woman getting her period too late.  “Your brother is gonna kill me. He is my teacher for fucking sake.” He took Gills shoulder shaking it: “I can’t live with this, goddammit”**

As hysterical as Feli seemed to be, Gilbert felt himself being perfectly calm. He knew his brother, and he knew that Feli’s worries and accusations would never happen. I may have been in the army, but he couldn’t hurt a fly. He had never killed another man, and he had always been as gentle as he could. He was more of a strategic man, helping others achieving what everyone knew the army for. “Okay, Feli,” he said, laying his hand on the others shoulder, attempting to get eye contact. “Listen to me for a sec. Lud, he… He isn’t like you think he is. He accepts every little thing. You could have killed someone, and I would still accepted that you are a human. Trust me when I say this, but ** _he understands._ He understands your troubles Feli, and he knows that you’re human. And you have to remember that too. Ludwig may be your teacher, but he’s also human too, like you, yeah? Don’t worry about it.” He looked around, his voice even more silent as he spoke again. “Also between you and me, I honestly think he’s just as gay as you are. Don’t tell him that though, things could look bad if you did.”**

**Feli tilted his head in confusion. “How can you know? So sure I mean ?” Feli couldn’t hide his surprise , no rather he was unsurely shocked. “H-He what huh?” He started to think. There was no sense of Ludwig preferring men in him he  thought.  He was sturdy. He was gentle, He was oh god…. “I’m in love with your brother...” He fell on his knees, and  covers his ears. “ai ai ai ai mi no comprendo” “Ignore that last thing no the one before. Uhm I’ll uhm shower. So could you please uhm...leave” He tried a smile but it was so awkward it wasn’t even a smile anymore.**

Gilbert only looked as the brunet reacted, and he wasn’t completely sure what was going on, but it looked like Feli had a bit of an epiphany as he whispered a couple words that Gil hadn’t really expected. And yes, Gilbert knew some difficult words. Just because he liked causing trouble didn’t mean his grades were bad. He was in Ludwig’s family after all.

Anyway, with this new information in hand he only looked in confusion as Feli was looking up at him, asking if he could leave. Which he nodded to. Yeah, he could do that. “Go to Lud’s room when you’re done then,” he said, and promptly closed the door after himself as he left. Once he was outside the door, he didn’t move an inch before he heard the shower. And then he carefully knocked on Ludwig’s door. Opening it, he knew his brother was awake. Unlike himself, Ludwig was a light sleeper, and if you weren’t careful enough he would wake up at the smallest little thing. He was well aware that Feli was gone, and the sight that met the albino as he opened the door only strengthened this fact.

Ludwig was in his bed, not really looking at anything, though his eyes moved to Gilbert as he came in. None of them spoke for a second, letting their eyes do the talking. Yet both understood what was going on here. “He’s just gonna take a shower, then he’ll come back and join ya,” Gilbert said, and I nodded. I knew what was behind those words. “Oh, and Ludwig?”Gilbert asked and I looked up again. “You might wanna pretend like you have no idea this happened.”

And then Gilbert left the room.

 

 


	15. The awkward morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this was probably just as awkward to write then it is to read.  
> Anyways enjoy the new update
> 
> tw: Masturbation scene?

**Feliciano took a deep breath. “How the heck does this even…?” He started to poke it. “Is this what Gilbert meant?” He started to carefully place his hand on said private part accidently moving a bit of skin...a sound escaping his lips. “Shit.” He whimpered as he turned the water colder, a wave of heat rushing over him. The water didn’t really help much as his mind wandered to a particular blond laying in the room he had to walk back to. For first experiences, this one was horrifying. It made him feel pathetic.**

**“Urg this feels weird.” He whispered and stopped for a second. “For fuck sake Gilbert it only became harder.” He didn’t mean to yell, so he said it more in a groan. “God damn you with your pathetic hormone shit and all that fucking…” He started to stroke himself in a sturdy pace. “Urg…” He started to imagine a cat, a smelly old cat but that simply turned into Ludwig wearing cat ears.** **_I don’t want a fetish like this brain stop._ ** **He sighed and continued his hand feeling something different than water. He shivered.** **_This is so gross._ ** **“I’m so gonna be death after this.” He muttered and forced to think of a grandmother, but then his mind wandered at growing old with a specific person and** **_I thought the point of this was to forget Ludwig and get rid of this._ **

**“Damn my stupid brain.” He hissed as another more pleasant feeling started to build from the bottom of his stomach. He whispered Ludwig’s name as a cry for help. “This is not working and I’m still not…” Feli stopped legs close to giving in due to the pain.** **_Why is this happening?_ **

I didn’t move from my spot as Gilbert left my room, but I couldn’t help but think about the boy in the next room. I was quite certain he would be masturbating, and if one listened closely, one could hear the soft moans and groans of the other. Still, the fact that the reason Feli was in there to begin with was because he had been dreaming about me...My cheeks got red again. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that. I had known the boy for two days, and he was still a very sweet and kind boy. I couldn’t help but like him, but did that mean I can like Feliciano the same way. I suppose the only thing I could do was wait and see. And with that in mind, I went back to bed, waiting for Feliciano to come back to bed.

**Feliciano opened the door with a soft sound. Ludwig appeared to be sleeping, but Feli doubted somewhere Ludwig actually was. He felt that the teacher who had showed such a strong protective side would have been awake by now. “Uhm L-Ludwig?” He asked with a silent voice, his hair was dripping wet and he had his underwear on and a towel. Searching for some spare clothes between the stuff he had taken home with him after leaving the place he had lived in for a long time.**

I awoke, slowly rubbing my eyes as Feliciano returned. I still felt a little flushed, but it probably wasn’t visible by now. “...Hm? Ah, Feli, you are back.” I said, and I held open the duvet like nothing happened. “Come on, we may still manage to catch a couple hours of sleep if we hurry,” I murmured, voice grainy from tiredness. I had a feeling tomorrow was going to be a strange day, but I let it be as I waited for the other to join me again.

**Feli looked at Ludwig, eyes filled with doubt but decided to ignore the anxious feelings and returned to the man’s side. That night he didn’t have awkward dreams any longer, he only dreamed of laying beside this man while the darkness took him captive, he didn’t cry or sob or moan. No he kept perfectly calm at his side of the bed. He turned his back away from Ludwig, because he already knew there would be consequences of hugging the tall blond. It wasn’t that he was distrusting Ludwig, rather the opposite he lost all trust in himself. Whatever would happen, he wouldn’t be the one hurting Ludwig. He was too precious to him to do that, that’s why he thought about his mother’s gift for his fourth birthday, which luckily had been forgotten on the shelf of the treehouse in their garden. He hadn’t written in it ever. And he thought he could use it for times like this.** **_Tomorrow._ ** **He thought as his sleep became too deep for him to be called conscious.**

The next morning I woke at my usual time, slightly more tired than usual. But as I noticed the boy next to me, I was soon reminded as to why. Smiling slightly, I decided to let the other sleep for a while longer while I took my normal morning shower. I’d maybe even make breakfast before I woke the not too young Italian. I had barely slept the previous night, after all.

By the time I was done in the shower and about to go make breakfast, Gilbert called from the kitchen claiming he had made coffee for all three of us, and I thought to myself maybe now was a good time to wake the other after all. So I re-entered my room and carefully sat down on the bedside, gently shaking Feliciano’s shoulder. “Feliciano, it’s time to wake up.”

**Feliciano yawned slightly. Until he noticed Ludwig. When realizing yesterday, he became very very red. “Oh yeah I’ll get ready uhm...” He said pausing and then stood up.  “I’ll join you in a second.” He tried to sound as normal as possible. Making himself  mentally ready in a few minutes of time. When he joined the kitchen he noticed the coffee. “Mmm it smells nice” He said with a small appetite but with a thirst. He could appreciate some good coffee with milk and sugar.He met Gill’s eyes and quickly looked away. Secretly he kind of hoped Gill wouldn’t tease about last night. But he was prepared to tease back if he had to.**

 

 


	16. Our first breakfast as a family.

I nodded at Feliciano’s request, and went over to the kitchen to make some actual breakfast, instead of the coffee that Gilbert had made. They would need more than just that to keep themselves energized throughout the day. And it might as well be a good lunch. So therefore, I was busy spending the next moments preparing egg omelets for all of them. Gilbert simply watched his brother as he did his thing. It was a habit by now that Ludwig made food, Gil had never been too good at it anyway. Yet again he could make decent meals as long as it didn’t need too much of an effort. It felt a bit strange for the Beilschmidt brothers that having Feliciano as an addition to the home didn’t feel strange in any sort of way, Gilbert even found himself smiling at how normal things felt with Feliciano here. Somewhere he believed despite the bullying he had tormented with they may become friends in the long run. It felt as Feliciano would be able to change their lives in a good way. Judging by the information Gilbert had gotten that night, he was pretty sure it would be fun to see how their relationship would develop. The albino could already see his bruder had a soft spot for Feli, all he needed now was for them to realize it.

Standing up, Gilbert let Gilbird out of his cage just as Feliciano came in, and the small yellow bird chirped as it flew around Feliciano twice, before returning to Gil’s shoulder where it nuzzled into his neck. This caused Gilbert to grin, and when he met Feliciano’s eyes he was pretty sure Feli was feeling uncomfortable. Oh well, the boy had his reasons.    
  
“Morning Feli!” The albino started also noting his brother that the Italian was in the room. “How are you.” In the corner of his eyes, Gilbert could see Ludwig stiffening somewhat, only to relax again a second later. This made it clear that he still found the whole ordeal a little awkward, but he did nothing to show it as he turned to the two students. “Guten morgen, Feli. Would you like some eggs?” 

**Feli stopped to think about it. “Hmmm? Breakfast?” He asked. He wasn’t allowed to eat breakfast in his previous household. It would make him fat, they stated when they looked at the boy with a gaze of annoyance. “Si, It’s okay.” He said a bit unsure as he looked at the dinner table. “Any seat not yet taken?” He asked. Yet again the tradition in his previous home was that everyone had their chair. He looked slightly relieved when Gilbert moved one of the chairs to indicate he could take a seat there. It seemed that there were a lot of differences between the two households, outside of the abuse. Like it was normal for Elisavetta to let him sleep together with her, Feliciano wasn’t stupid what he had done yesterday was out of line. Yet the woman, as insulting and harsh she had to be had her way to calm him. She reminded him of his mother who like her had a faint lavender scent. The breath of someone else made him feel more alive, less broken...but with Ludwig it had caused another feeling. He nervously played with the loose skin around his fingertips and forced himself to break the silence which always felt suffocating.**

**“Hey Gilbert…” He carefully tried, unsure if Gilbert minded him talking to him. Yet the friendly greeting indicated that perhaps the albino didn’t mind. “What’s this cutie’s name?” He stated pointing at the yellow bird. He was surprised by the bird flying around him earlier, and he had a love for birds and dogs even cats. Since he was little his home in Italy had been filled with animals. One of his favorites were canaries, but well due to the smoke and the fire mostly none of the animals survived. The painful memory surprised him, due to him being in shock he never thought at how much he had lost that day. In his mind the pain of losing his parent’s was simply that severe. He pushed the sad feelings aside as he remembered the journal carefully wrapped in his bag. It belonged to his mother and since the boy had a great love for art she had drawn flowers with what he named her final letter to him. His mother always spoke of love towards her sons, her worries about Lovino’s health which had been getting slightly better with Antonio in his life. But Feliciano wasn’t a fool, it would take a long time for Lovino to be able to do whatever was considered normal to the world. At first Feliciano wasn’t fond to have Antonio near Lovino, the constant worry of losing his brother with having someone he loved near him. Yet it helped that Antonio wasn’t a stranger, he knew what to do when Lovi had an attack.  He sighed but got startled by Ludwig.**

Ludwig placed the omelets next to Feliciano, Gilbert had been noting the demeanor of the small brunet and grinned. “This little chick?” He asked, causing Gilbird to peck him on the cheek. “Sorry, pal.” Gilbert said apologetic towards the small birdie. “This is Gilbird.” He said, taking a cracker of his plate and breaking a small piece to feed the bird. “He’s really awesome, and he’s always by my side. Except for in school though, since the teachers…” He pointed annoyed towards Ludwig, rolling his eyes. “Won’t allow it.” Grinning he took his first bite. When he swallowed that down he asked Feliciano: “Hey Feli, have you ever had any pets? I mean, we have three dogs, but they are over at mom and dad’s place, until we’ve settled in and gotten used to school and all.” He chuckled. “You should see Luddy with them sometimes, he’s a total softie with them.”

The last remark caused Ludwig to choke slightly on his food, and glare towards his brother. “I’m certainly not! I just...enjoy training them...that’s all.” He trailed off, noticing Feliciano’s mood. “Feli are you alright?”

**“I’m alright, I was just thinking.” Feliciano quickly said, looking towards Gilbert he explained. “I had birds or well...I used to have birds as pets. I had a small dog and two cats but they sadly died in the fire.” Instead of acting sad, or depressed even Feliciano managed to smile as he innocently gazed at Ludwig and asked. “Will you let me meet the doggies?” He chuckled. “What are their names?” He did however regret that he looked at Ludwig so closely as his cheeks reddened. “Oh look at the time, it’s late.” Feli said embarrassed. He looked at Gilbert as to warn him not to say anything after he leaves and walked over to the door. “Thanks for the breakfast, I will see you at school.”**

Gilbert had brightened at the mention of the birds, and had smiled. “Sounds pretty awesome.” When however he heard the fact Feliciano had lost all his pets he felt slightly ashamed for all he had put the brunette through. He decided that moment that he would look after the small Italian and make sure his friends, or no one else would pester him at school. It was strange to think that Feliciano would be living with them for weeks, possibly even longer. Ludwig had “Adopted” the other on a whim to get him away from the abuse he so definitely didn’t deserve but it hadn’t really been well planned. Oh well, he was ready to face the consequences, and he wouldn’t really mind. After all he didn’t know Feliciano that well.

All the sudden, both brothers looked at Feliciano as he stood up and left the room, both confused as to why he had left. Or rather, they both knew why. But they didn’t manage to connect the dots until he was already gone. Sighing, Ludwig stood up and picked up the lunch that the Italian had forgotten in his half sleepy demeanor. Then again he never saw Feliciano carrying a lunchbox when he got to school. He shook his head as Gilbert spoke his thoughts out loud. “Class is gonna be so awkward for him today.”


	17. History won’t defy us

**Feliciano was grateful that the bus arrangement wasn’t as complicated as it had been from his old home. He eyed his journal looking for whatever class he would have for the day. Starting with gym from Mr. Honda to end with Ludwig’s history class. When he looked at his schedule he noticed that Ludwig would teach him often enough. Normally that wouldn’t feel strange but seeing he now was adopted by this teacher well… His life had changed in such a short notice it was hard for him to keep up. Roderich was accused of abuse and his adoptive mother was dating a woman, his brother planned to move in with Antonio. Honestly, so much had changed ever since Ludwig walked in that classroom. He weakly smiled shaking his head at how much of a soap opera this seemed. And of course he could only think of one person to share all this with.**

**_His mother._ **

**Grabbing his mother’s journal, one which was heavy due to the leather binding and the ribbon she used to wear that he made into a bookmark. He started to write.**

**_Dear mom,_ **

**_I think in my thirteen years of living without you I can say that I finally found my piece of happiness. You know the promise we made. I’m thinking perhaps with all that has been happening it might not be unreachable anymore. Not with L. By my side. He may think of me as a brother or a friend, I cannot blame him seeing he is my teacher or the fact that he is older than me, and more mature. His gentle nature reminded me of dad, I hope my mistake from yesterday went by unnoticed. I don’t know what living with L and G will bring me. Mostly because...I’m not sure if someone like me deserves this. I can imagine you would scold me for saying such things, after all you always wished for me and Lovino to be happy. Lovino is getting better mom. He is happy with Antonio, you know the son of Dad’s friend. They took care of us and I guess Lovino was never ready to say goodbye, so he didn’t. I want to believe that those two can ease the pain I have been carrying with me for a long time. I’m not ready to tell L. my story yet...but I think they will give me hope._ **

**_I love you mom, And I pray that when we meet again I will listen to your song._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I miss you,_ **

**_Feliciano._ **

**Feli closed his book hearing Ludwig come into the room, telling the students Mr. Honda is sick and they would get a written assignment about basketball. He also offered another history class, which the students eagerly preferred. It was funny how as soon as Ludwig would enter the classroom there was this quietness from all the students. They seemed to understand that the teacher had a presence that gave him respect. It didn’t mean that Ludwig was well-liked by all, but it did mean they weren’t idiotic enough to try not to.**

For Ludwig it felt like everything had changed in that one day, simply due to the boy seated in the back of the classroom. Feliciano. Smiling gently, Ludwig greeted the students, making sure everyone was seated and asked them to grab their history books. Honestly, he was prepared to act like nothing had happened, and he knew he was a good actor when he needed to be. After all due to his army experience it wasn’t that uncommon for him to act as a spy. None of the students seemed to notice anything.

“Can anyone tell me what the name of the Nazi party that Hitler was the leader of?” He looked around. Only a few were raising their hands, but they had been answering questions this entire class. Somehow he knew those were the bright ones, who lived on their smarts alone. Still, he’d like some variation. Somehow  his tongue went to that default name. “Mr. Vargas, do you have an answer to this question?”

**“I have actually no idea Ludwig...uhm unless it’s The National Socialist German Workers Party?” Feliciano said confused.** **_Why is he asking those questions directly at him?_ ** **He looked at his book and innerly cursed at he noticed he had been doodling Ludwig’s hair. He closed the book as soon as he noticed the confusion of all the students directed towards him. He frowned. He opened his book again, trying to see if he replied incorrectly and didn’t notice his smile as he saw that he managed to capture Ludwig’s smile well, yet felt the familiar disappointment of his artist as he noted he sketched the eyes incorrectly, they were not as gentle as Ludwig’s eyes actually were.**

Out of habit, Ludwig didn’t react when Feli used his first name. “That is actually correct, Mr. Vargas. “He said, but then he noticed the uneasiness of the students around him. Ludwig looked at them intently, and then as he met the gazes of one of the students, she mouthed his name and he could almost read the sentence on her lips. “Mr. Beilschmidt’s first name is Ludwig.” He then realized what the Italian had said. He cleared his throat. “Anyways.” He kept going, voice clear that he wanted to continue the lecture. “The National Socialist German Worker’s Party was the way Hitler got to his position, yes, but does anyone know what kind of school he applied for before he got interested in politics?”

The students were clearly not paying any attention any longer and I sighed annoyed. By the wall, a boy raised his hand. He nodded in a sign for him to speak. “Uhm, I don’t have the answer to your question, Mr. Beilschmidt,” He started pressuring the way he said the teacher’s name. “But I have a question, you are German, right? Does that make you a Nazi?”

At this I sent the boy a glare, even as the students around him laughed, and some even quivered in fear at the thought. After staring for a while, my reply was simple. “I don’t know, Mr. Jones. You’re American, aren’t you? Does that mean you’re a slaveholder?”

The blond promptly shut up at this, and looked down into his desk. “No, Mister.” He paused. “I’m sorry for making such an accusation.” I only sighted. “It’s alright, Mr. Jones, but please refrain from jumping to conclusions next time. Although it might seem like something is the truth, but in reality it could be completely different. Also, generalisation based on a country’s history is never a good thing. That would be like blaming Mr. Køhlerin the back there for the Kalmar Union.”

**Feli however couldn’t help but glare at the American boy’s stupidity. He grinned his teeth in anger...but as Ludwig stated history does not always make you the same person as the once committing the crime decades before. Feli felt quite overprotective over this new friend and teacher of his, which surprised him nonetheless. He shouldn’t be angry that the American made such remarks after all he did this often enough, not only with Ludwig’s classes. But the fact That Alfred dared to do this is Ludwig’s class made him do the things what happened next. As Feli felt that Alfred insulted Ludwig’s roots he slammed his book shut with a loud bang. He then excused himself towards the students and Ludwig, yet he was unable to hide the frustrations of the topic at hand. After all he had been through the same when his grandfather was sentenced to death.**

Ludwig looked at Feliciano in somewhat shock as he heard the bang, but still managed to quickly connect the dots as he figured out what to do. At least he’d managed to connect them faster than he did earlier this morning. “Mr. Vargas,’ He stated, not really saying anything more for a few seconds. “There is no need to do such things, we are all human. Ja?” He carefully spoke, letting his German slip in. When he continued he spoke to all of the class. “We’re allowed to make mistakes, all of you are still young individuals. I suppose one could say I am as well, but I had my fair share of maturing. Anyway, my point being is you are young, and in school. You are all still learning, and it’s my job as a teacher to teach you these things, Ja?”

A few minutes later I decided I kept the students in long enough. Besides, they had worked well enough today. “Seeing Mr. Honda is ill and last class is given by myself I allow you all to leave early today. Mr Vargas, Mr Jones, please stay a few minutes after the rest has left. No worries, It’s nothing bad.”

Alfred was the first one up by the counter at the end of class, and Ludwig nodded as he smiled ever so gently. “I do not mean to cause you trouble.” He said, noticing the American looked a tad nervous. Straightening his back, he met the blue eyes that clearly belonged to Alfred ignoring the brunette’s golden once this time. “Did you learn anything at all today, Mr Jones? Anything at all?” And to that the student only nodded and grinned. “Yeah definitely.” was his answer and I smiled proudly. “Good , you are dismissed.” And the American soon disappeared. What I didn’t expected was the Italian’s outburst that followed as soon as Mr. Jones left the room.

**“Ludwig!” The tone Feliciano spoke with was nothing like gentle at all. “Why did you not stand up for yourself! I mean why couldn’t you scold him for hell’s sake.” He glared at Ludwig, his face turned with a deep frown. “Do you have to be so incredibly sweet to everyone?! Why not only me and Gilbert of course..It’s not like...I’m special right?” Felciano started to cry. “Were you awake?” He jolted, looking at Ludwig properly for the first time today.**   
**He knew he should shut up that moment, he should have realized that perhaps a student could overhear his complaint. Yet he was furious. “You are unbelievable.” He was too furious to stop, someone had hurt the one he cared for.** **_Loved._ ** **And god forbid that realization hit him quite hard.**


	18. Treat me better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know a lot of updates for the fic happening (I had some time since I was a bit stressed for school)

Ludwig hadn’t expected Feliciano’s outburst. The Italian’s voice was harsh, a tad cold, and if anything it sounded like a mother yelling at her kid. And truly, Ludwig felt as if he was a child in his current spot. When their eyes met, he could only look at Feliciano with an eyebrow raised. 

Feliciano, please calm down,’ He tried. “There is no reason to be mad at someone unknowing.” He stood up, meeting the other’s gaze at the same level. “And where did you get the idea that you aren’t special? Feli, what was the first thing I told you when we had these conversations.” He blew air out of his nose as he smiled gently and ruffled the italian’s hair, a tad flushed. “You have ton of potential, Feli. Nothing would cause me to believe differently.”

Just as Ludwig was about to mention the other’s lunch he looked up to see Alfred standing there, holding his backpack over his shoulders. The German hadn’t even noticed he was there though the fact that he had seen him be so gentle somehow caused him to flush red. “Ah, Alfred.” He started, wanting to explain, but the blond only winked and made a motion as if he sealed his mouth shut. “Ya know, Mr. Beilschmidt. You just taught me that not everything is as it seemed, so I’m just gonna let it lie and not question it.” He smiled, waving his hand in a goodbye. “Seeya.” He mumbled as he left the room, and Ludwig could only stand there, stunned.

**“That’s not what I meant, but I guess that’s alright.” Feliciano felt no desire to trust the American boy, and he narrowed his eyes as soon as Alfred left. Yet his clumsy self made him drop his book and the attempt portrait felt in close view. He sighed annoyed. “Yeah I know the eyes are completely wrong.” His voice betrayed his disappointment, he felt sad that his skills were unable to capture the teacher correctly. But it didn’t help since Ludwig was in the front of the class while he was in the back.  “Maybe...Will you be my model. So that I can draw the eyes well?”**

**“Promise me that you will only be this nice to people when they actually deserve it.” He eyes his teacher, eyes serious.**

Ludwig chuckled at the other’s comment that caused him to break loose from the thoughts Alfred had left, and he ruffled the other’s hair again, only for his gaze to fall on the books that the Italian had dropped on the floor. One in particular stood out, it was open and on the page Ludwig noticed a quite detailed drawing of something that couldn’t be mistaken as anything else but himself. Out of interest, he bend down and picked it up, looking at it. It was so detailed it could be close to a picture, the intricate detail was impressive, and much better than anything he himself could do.

“The eyes?” Ludwig asked, and he looked at them. They didn’t look all that wrong to him. They were more like a steel-cold gaze, one he often held in the military or as Gilbert had said his youth. He however couldn’t remember for his life of him where Feliciano had seen it. Maybe a picture at home or something.

“Your model?” Ludwig repeated the other’s sentence a second time, cheeks still flush through the warmth was renewed at the question. “I suppose that wouldn’t hurt.” He said, gaze locked to the floor. He kind of wanted to scratch his neck, much like any guy in any story ever did as a nervous habit, but he kept it to himself. He looked at the other with slight surprise and confusion when Feliciano demanded a promise of him, and the way the Italian held himself was unlike anything he’d ever seen before in the boy. A wry smile came to his face, and his eyes somewhat fell. “I’m afraid I can’t promise that. Being nice to people is something I do. It makes me happy.” He didn’t say anything else, not caring if it didn’t describe enough.

“I didn’t know you were into art,” Ludwig said suddenly, looking at the drawing again. “Do you just draw, or do you like to use other medium as well?” He met the other’s eyes at the end of that question. It just seemed so much like the Italian, it was kind of strange to think that Ludwig didn’t know Feli as much as one would think, he didn’t even know he liked to draw.

“Hey Feliciano….Unless you’re busy tonight, would you like to...you know get to know each other a little better? I think that’s going to be needed if we are to live together for a while.” He smiled fondly, suddenly remembering the others lunch in his backpack. “Oh, and you forgot your lunch this morning,” He said, picking it up from his bag and handed it over to the Italian. “It’s just leftovers from today’s breakfast, but hopefully we can manage before we get home.”

**Feliciano was quite content with the artistic questions. “Oh I love charcoal and paint. So I mostly draw on special paper I bought with the money of my vacation job , since you can ask all art students and they all will say the same, art is expensive.” He grinned, he might not seem like it but he always worked hard. Not only at school. “Oh and I love oil paintings and common stuff you will find in Museums, my mom loved to take me to Doge’s palace and Museo della Musica.”**

For some reason Feliciano’s mood changed as soon as he spoke about art, and I couldn’t help but be slightly mesmerized at the glint of passion in Feli’s eyes as he spoke. It somehow just made him all the more comfortable to be with, and his smile shone brighter. It kind of rubbed off on Ludwig.

At the positive reply, Ludwig smile only grew, if only for the tiniest of bits. Somehow the thought of spending time with the Italian didn’t seem too bad, especially if he was going to be as sweet and happy as he was now. “No problem,” He smiled in reply to the lunch grabbing his own out of his backpack, he asked the other. “Would you like to say here with me for lunch or eat this at home?”

**“I have a passion for angels.” He thought back about the painting that Raphael had made and he simply fell in love with. He felt like he got a bit too excited talking about art. He sighted but blinked after he heard Ludwig’s request.** **_Getting to know each other._ ** **He nodded in approval. “Sure, that seems great.”**

**He also gladly accepted the meal Ludwig gave him. “Oh Sorry I forgot. I am not used to having more than one meal a day.” He said with a wide grin looking at the delicious leftovers of this morning. “Thank you.” He said with a sweet smile.**

**“Sure.” Feliciano said with a widening grin. If he would be grinning the whole time like this his cheeks would start hurting. He took the lunchbox from Ludwig, thanking him with a grin. His mind wandered to his four year old self and the innocent promise he made with his mother.**

**_When you think you found the one you love keep him close to you._ **

**Her wise sounding words ended up being the last advice she would offer him before becoming an angel in the sky. His smile saddened a bit when he remembered, but when he looked at Ludwig again it became genuine once more.**

**“You know I- I couldn’t be happier with you as my teacher, I mean...You are strict yet open, loyal and protective. I may not even been here for longer if you didn’t save me back then. You didn’t give up on me even though you knew what I was. Thank you.” He kept himself from hugging the blond now they were at school.**

**He felt like the gods finally granted some goodness in his life.**

 


	19. ti amerò per sempre, Aber ich weiß es noch nicht

Ludwig smiled gently at the other boy, genuinely glad that the other seemed comfortable for once. His happiness was still contagious, and it made Ludwig feel good about himself as well. Just thinking he was the one who made the Italian happy made him even happier. The Italian was apparently thinking the same thing as he voiced his thoughts.

The german’s eyes softened, smiling at the brunette. “No problem, Feli. There is no way I’d give up on you. I’d do anything, and don’t doubt me when I say that, alright?” Ludwig felt a need to hug the other, but held back. There would probably be other chances to do that.

**Felicano lost all resolve that refrained him from hugging the tall blond. "Ti amo così tanto I. Farò per sempre te amo." He said overjoyed. He felt special towards someone, a feeling he had been missing for years now. “You know the one that ends up with you will be a very lucky woman.” He sighed a bit sad but still had that content smile when he thought about the blond’s words. “I cannot say it enough but, I am so grateful for meeting you.” He said looking in those blue eyes. His feelings would be his secret alone, and when the time came that Ludwig would find that “special lady”. Feliciano would support it with all his heart.**

Ludwig’s eyes widened in surprise when he was suddenly hugged, but he wasted no time to return the gesture, appreciating the warmth in it. Feli said some words in Italian, and for some reason they caused him to tighten his hold on the smaller man. Ludwig had never learned any of the Latin languages, Germany being the only language other than English that he knew, but Feliciano’s words left him a nice and fuzzy feeling, so he decided to trust it like he always did.

However for some reason the next comment from Feliciano caused his stomach to turn, and it wasn’t in the most comfortable of ways. He had never really thought of who he’d end up with, but somehow the fact that Feli specified it as a woman made him uneasy. Still, he ignored the feelings that appeared. He could think of those later. Besides, the words that next left the Italian’s mouth were heartwarming, and they caused him to look up and meet the golden hazel gaze of the other.

He was pretty sure that the emotions hidden in his usual steen-cold gaze were clearly visible now, in a moment such as this one. For some reason it felt like Feliciano looked past whatever caused most people to walk away, in a way, it somehow scared him even. Maybe this was what Feliciano meant when he said he got the eyes in the drawing wrong. Cheeks flush, Ludwig decided that it probably was time to let go of the other. Not because he necessarily wanted to, but because he had been staring at the other in his eyes for far too long, and he could see the situation becoming awkward soon. That wasn’t exactly the thing he had tried to accomplish, seeing as he wanted to know Feliciano better, and not scare him off

The thought alone caused a ton of other thoughts to flurry in his mind. Simply the fact that Ludwig wanted to get to know the Italian better was strange enough, yet it still made sense/ Feliciano was not like most others who left or were somewhat scared because of how he acted. Somehow he managed to get past the walls that Ludwig had managed to build, and that in itself was curious enough to make the German interested.

All of a sudden the door slammed open, and Ludwig took a step back in surprise, eyes widening and cheeks warming as he noticed his brother waltzing in. It didn’t seem like the albino had noticed anything. “Hey Lud!” He started, but halted in his tracks as he noticed Feli in the room as well. His eyes got somewhat of a suggestive look as he turned to his brother again, and the blond’s blush only got more intense. Gilbert rolled his eyes, and he continued the sentence he had started on upon his entrance. “Mom and Dad invited us over to their place on Sunday, mom’s making wurst and everything.” He grinned. “Maybe Feli can join us!”

 

**Feliciano noticed a change in the way the tall blond hugged him, his mind formed the words out loud allowing them to carelessly slip out of his mouth: “He is like a big teddy bear.” Somewhat he noticed Ludwig thinking and hoped that he didn’t do anything wrong. Was it that strange to wish Ludwig good luck when he meets a woman. No, it wasn’t strange, the idea just hurts. He knew a girl’s skin is much softer and different of a male, he couldn’t quite think of Ludwig embracing a male or himself.**

 

**He tilted his head waiting for the blond to reply when an all too familiar person walked in the room. Seemingly the Albino didn’t notice him at first but Feliciano didn’t mind and decided to listen to what Gilbert had to say about his and Ludwig’s parents. He wanted to say that he would watch the house but was surprised the albino actually invited him as well. He felt worried because what would the parents of Ludwig think when they find out Ludwig adopted someone much closer to his age then he and his parents would. More than that what if Ludwig’s mother found out about the feelings he was trying to hide, feelings he wasn’t sure to even acknowledge. Mother’s sense these things as annoying as it could be.  He did however wanted to meet the dogs Ludwig was so fond of. The idea of the blond playing with them was enough to warm his heart and perhaps even consider going.**

**It might give him the opportunity to draw the eyes right this time. Because there was more to Ludwig than his cold gaze alone. He had seen it, before. Those gentle eyes with a pure gleam of happiness inside.**

**Feli realized he hadn’t said anything yet and looked at Gilbert before he spoke to both of the brothers. “I would love to meet your parents, I may look forward at meeting those dogs.” He smiled nervously at Ludwig as he waited for some sort of approval.**

Ludwig nodded slowly as he listened to his brother’s words. He was planning to talk to his parents regarding Feliciano anyway, since with all the things happening he hadn’t found the time to tell them yet. That would probably be smart to do before he introduced them to Feli. Unless he wanted for his father to rage at the Italian, something that wouldn’t be plausible. Oh well, he believed he had a class free the next day, maybe he could leave early and speak with them before Feli and Gilbert came home. 

Nodding, the German agreed. He missed his dogs anyway. “That sounds like a good idea.” He said, a gentle smile on his face. “However, I believe I have some things to take care of after school tomorrow, Gilbert would you mind escorting Feliciano home?”

Somehow Ludwig couldn’t help but think of whether his parents would even like Feliciano, but looking at the younger male again he was quite certain they would love him. There was just something lovable about the boy. He may not be as tough as himself or Gilbert, but he had other qualities one couldn’t help but love. Hopefully his parents would think the same. Feliciano wasn’t the soldier that he and Gilbert had been raised to be, yet at the same time Ludwig knew he was equally as strong as them, just in other areas.

Gilbert replied to his question with a simple nod, and a grin at the Italian’s direction. “Oh man, mutti’s gonna love ya. She is just the biggest softie for anyone who aren’t us. But hey, I guess that’s why she’s our mom.” Chuckling slightly, the Albino couldn’t help but comment about the dogs and his brother. “And Little Lud is gonna love seein’ the dogs again, or what? I mean, you love training the dogs, especially Berlitz…” He trailed of on purpose, grinning when the blond’s cheek flushed.

“Bruder, you and I both know why Berlitz is my favorite…” He mumbled, but didn’t say anything else. Without thinking his hand went to the back of his head and he carefully nudged a small scar hidden beneath his hair, not visible to anyone who weren’t looking at it. He sighed. “Anyway, did you speak with Antonio like I asked you to?”

At this the albino nodded. “Of course! When doesn’t the awesome me listen to my little adorable brother?” He asked, laughing at the glare he got for it. “But yeah, Lovino is technically legal, so he’s staying with Toni. As Toni quoted his beloved cried happy tears. They will join us on Saturday.”


	20. Simply Charming.

**Feliciano smiled because it worried him ever so slightly to get the blond’s and the Albino’s mother’s approval. But if the woman was as gentle as they said she was, then things would turn out to be okay.**

**Since they didn’t mention Ludwig’s father, Feliciano decided to ask Ludwig about it later.** **  
** **“What type of breed is Berlitz?” Feliciano asked with a bit of struggling to pronounce the name correctly. “And why is he your favorite among the three?” Feliciano asked, his voice dripping with curiosity.**

**But then his eyebrows went to a frown. He looked at Gilbert with a slight tilted head. “Huh, little brother? Isn’t Ludwig taller than you? And older...he is a teacher and you are in your last year aren’t you?”**

For some reason it surprised Ludwig that the Italian ignored the piece of information about his brother, one would think he would be curious. Then again, if he was with Antonio, he was guessing Feli knew as well that he wanted to have Lovino safe. And he supposed that was enough for the Italian brother. 

“Berlitz is a German Shepherd,” Gilbert started, chuckling at Feliciano’s difficulties in saying this name. “He is our oldest dog, and he’s been with us since Lud was at least have the age he is now.” At that Ludwig sighed exasperatedly, and he glared at his brother again. “Would you please stop it with the nicknames, bruder? They are frustrating.” At this Gilbert only winked and shot in a small. “Then I’m doing my job right!” But Ludwig ignored him. “Oh and Feli, Gilbert actually is my older brother, that’s why he calls me little.”

Taking a deep breath he got back to the actual topic, reliving the memory he was about to explain in his head. “When I was younger, I fell and hit my head,” He began, wincing as he imagined the pain. “I was on a walk with Berlitz, training him. I remember the weather wasn’t too good and mutti wanted me to stay inside, but I insisted to go. We were crossing a river when a thunder roared, scaring me so I slipped and fell.” Ludwig’s eyes had long since been glued to the floor. “Berlitz, sensing I was in danger, immediately went off in search for help. A few moments later they came, and I was rushed to the hospital, Berlitz always by my side. I went into a comatose for a week, and all the while Berlitz was in the hospital bed with me, refusing to leave my side.” A sheepish smile came to Ludwig’s face. “He saved my life.”

Looking up again, Ludwig was somewhat surprised to find his brother in somewhat of a somber mood, but it only made sense. “Because of that, I don’t remember much of my childhood, although lots got lost when I hit my head in the army as well. It sometimes causes me to zone out from time to time, but I’ve learned to manage.” He smiled, primarily at Feli. “...And that’s why Berlitz is my favorite of the dogs. I feel indebted to him.”

**“Could you lower your head.” Feliciano asked with a softening grin. He looked at the scar kissed it and said with a cheerful tune. “Pain pain go away.” He grinned and continued the singing tune with a more widened smile. “Let’s make today a brighter day.” He smiled happily as he explained to the brother’s that it was a tradition his mother had done to him when he was a child.**

**“Well think of it as an exchange for the childhood story you game me Ludwig.” He scratched his head in awkwardness. But somewhere he hoped it would help, even if the scar was already faded.**

At the other’s request, Ludwig lowered his head like he was asked to. He had expected for the other to look at the scar, maybe even touch it, but he really hadn’t expected the touch of lips on the back of his head. Gilbert let out a hearty laugh at the blush his cheeks now held, but he grinned as if this was something he could get used to. And Ludwig almost wanted to agree with him, but he held them to himself as well. The small song Feliciano sung made his heart quiver for a slight moment, and he gently smiled while Gilbert slung his arm around the Italian’s shoulder. “That habit of yours is mighty fine, Feli.” The albino said, and Ludwig nodded in agreement. One had to have a few childish moments in one’s life.

In the war, Ludwig had always been described as the Cherry boy. The innocent man who didn’t want to sleep with prostitutes or smore. He would drink a beer from time to time, but he would never allow himself to get drunk, only tipsy. The reason for this was because that he simply didn’t want to do these things. Instead he spend his days dreaming of the time he could get back home and play football, or bake sweets for his brother and parents. And for that innocence he couldn’t help but smile at Feliciano, for finding happiness in the very same things.

“Right, shall we finish our lunch.”

**“Sounds good to me.” Feliciano said with quite the appetite. He soon got to notice some things about the brothers, like how close their bond truly was. “Hey, Gilbert. Would you...uhm.” He said it quite silently, gathering all his courage to say the words. “Would you let me hang over at your room, perhaps play with Gilbird if he wants to?” He sweetly smiled at the albino. He couldn’t help but feel joyous that the one thing he had in common with Gilbert was a love for birds. His eyes fell on Gilbert, shaking his head never saying his thoughts out loud.**

**_Gilbert did actually felt like the youngest of the two. They never stop to surprise me._ **

“Sure you can play with Gilbird, after you talking about your birdies I feel like I can trust you with this friend.” The small yellow bird came flying out where it had been sleeping in the albino’s hood. “He’s extrememy obeying, but say something rude ‘bout him and he’ll peck you. Just so you know. Also he doesn’t like to be called Chick. Trust me, Gilbird can understand what we’re saying.” Digging into his food, Gilbert then trusted the small goldfinch to humor the Italian for a while. Every now and then he could see his younger brother peeking over at their new family member, and from time to time he could see the two gazes meet- only for both to look away with slightly more color in their cheeks each time. He chuckled to himself. Those two had more chemistry between them than the chemistry room itself.

The trio went home. They had just eaten dinner and Gilbert was looking like he considered to head back to his room for the day, he had a blog to work on, he claimed, as well as some friends he wanted to chat with. One friend in particular. Having a blog was just as awesome as himself, he came in contact with a boy with the username Mapleandburgers69. After some weeks of chatting they became somewhat close. Ludwig wouldn’t complain, he had already noticed Gilbert had finished his homework. Repeating classes so often eventually became old, even for Gilbert himself. So Ludwig decided after making a cup of thee for both him and Feliciano, to have a comfortable conversation with the Italian.

“Right so...I think it would be easier for us if we ask questions. Do you have any you would like to start off with?”

“ **Are you single” Feliciano muttered under his breath.**

Ludwig was just taking a sip of his tea as Feliciano mumbled his first question, and wouldn’t you know it, the German choked on his tea in surprise. (or in my case from laughter omg Feli) In that very moment it seemed like Gilbert had come out to get something as well and his iconic laughter could soon be heard throughout the apartment. “Are you kidding me.” He asked rhetorically as Ludwig’s cheeks went red again, even though it had already been far too many times in one day. “Ludwig is as forever alone as a cat lady.” Gilbert grinned and winked with his next sentence. “So he’s still out on the market, if you catch my drift.”

**This made Feliciano fumble his words. “W-what huh, but I was sure you would...I mean...uhm.” Feliciano had a hard time hiding the huge grin that appeared. “Wait, so you aren’t in a relationship...hmm.” He was thinking about that reality, yet his mind drifted for a moment. “He doesn’t seem like a cat lady, more like a doggy man or something.” He accidently said his observation out loud. “Oh I am sorry, I didn’t mean to - I was just thinking, you don’t seem the type to have cats, but that could be an assumption since you have three dogs…” He decided that changing the topic was a safe escape.**

 


	21. I dare you to tell the truth.

If anything, Gilbert had never laughed as hard as he did now. The words “Doggy man” had given him so many me mental images it wasn’t even funny, and soon enough he was on the floor from all the laughter. “Lud...doggy...man...oh my god…” He breathed in between laughter, and was pretty sure he could laugh about this forever, especially with the look on his brother’s face. He looked absolutely horrified, and the blush on Ludwig cheeks that neither brother was used to certainly didn’t help.

“It’s no problem, Feliciano.” Ludwig said curtly in an attempt to gather his pride, and glared at his brother. Gilbert was still laughing, tears already started forming in his eyes. Ignoring his brother, Ludwig looked at Feliciano, thinking of a question. He really wasn’t good at talking to people or figuring out what to talk about, but he guessed there was one question on his mind. Only later did Ludwig realize he could have asked about Feliciano’s hobbies, but instead there was one sentence that kind of hesitantly got blurted out.

“When...did you realize you were gay?”

It was somewhat of a sensitive question, especially to Ludwig, but that was when Gilbert swung himself down on the couch next to the blond. “Ooh, juicy questions! Can I join, Lud?” Ludwig didn’t even bother looking at his brother, he simply replied with a “No.” At this Gilbert pouted towards Feliciano. “What about you Feli? Can I join? Please?”

**Feliciano’s head moved from Ludwig towards Gilbert. “I don’t mind.” He wanted to befriend Gilbert as well, after all he would need to get along with both brothers while living in their home. So rejecting Gilbert now didn’t seem like a nice thing, or smart thing even to do.**

**“As for your question, Ludwig. I realized it when I fell in love with a boy that rented the house next to ours. He was the first person I loved, my mother always hugged me because I was quite heartbroken when he had to leave. I never felt anything for girls, of course I think women are beautiful but I never harbor any desires for them. It’s just not the same for me with girls.”**

**“I never got the name of the boy sadly, but I remember his eyes were...cold.” He glanced towards Ludwig shaking his head again.**

Gilbert let out a loud yelp of enthusiasm, fist-pimping the air at the positive answer he had gotten from Feliciano. He put himself in a more comfortable position, giving his brother some more space. Listening intently, the albino kept an eye on both of the other men. He grinned at the subtle hints each of them gave out of how they just acted  _ different _ around the other. Oh man, how he wished for the both of them to notice them as well. Maybe his little brother dear would finally get laid.

Ludwig, on the other hand, nodded in interest at the other’s reply, although he felt there was something he didn’t know when the other had glanced at him. Still, he smiled after a while dismissing it. “That makes sense,” he said. “Do you have any questions for me, or should we give Gilbert a question too?”

**“Well, since Gilbert is joining...Oh wait! I have an idea why don’t we play truth or dare? To make it easier?” Feliciano said with great enthusiasm. “Of course Gill can chose a person first.”**

** At the suggestion, Gilbert grinned and Ludwig nodded. It seemed like an alright idea. “Alright.” He said. “Just know that I’m quite...well, innocent in these kind of games.” Gilbert only nodded in approval. “The awesome me chooses you Feli. I know next to nothing about ya, ya know!” He grinned. **

**“I pick...truth.” Feli said doubtful, wondering why the albino had asked him first but the response seemed like it was a normal thing to do.**

“Alright.” He shrugged. “Might as well start easy and simple anyway.” Thinking to himself, muttering something beneath his breath, not really audible. “Ah, okay. Who is your favorite musical artist, and what is your favorite song by them?”

**“That’s easy, numb from Linkin Park.” He smiled, he might not seem like it but happy pop wasn’t his thing, he liked rock the most. “Okay if that answers your question I am picking Ludwig for this one.”**

“Ah, that song,” Gilbert grinned as he remembered back the older times. “I remember rocking out to it with my friends when we were like 14. It was awesome.” He gave a thumbs up, content with the answer. At the mention of his name, Ludwig perked up slightly. He had been paying attention, but his mind was still on some other plane. “Eh, truth I suppose.”

**Feliciano had so many questions laying on the tip of his tongue. He looked at the ground, the ceiling at Gilbert before he settled on Ludwig. “Who was your first crush, do you perhaps still remember?” It was the first thing he felt like asking, he had been unable to shake something from the top of his mind for a while now.**

The question caused Ludwig to slightly blush, he looked slowly to his brother, as if asking a question before he spoke. “I...As I mentioned earlier today, I don’t remember much of my childhood, however I do remember this one girl. We were very young at the time but,...”

Gilbert interrupted. “Lud Lud was a very scary kid when he was little, so the girl was terrified of him most of the time. She tried to teach him to paint from time to time, but Lud was too shy to do anything, also he kinda sucks at art.” At this the youngest of brother’s cleared his troat. “I still enjoy it,” He mumbled.

Seeing the question felt answered enough, Ludwig smiled wryly. “She had to move after a while. After we also left. Anyway, next question? I hope you don’t mind that I ignore my brother in favor of learning more about you, Feliciano. I already know everything about my bruder, so…” He decided to shut himself up. “Truth or dare.”

**“Dare.” Feli felt himself chuckling despite the strange feeling he had after listening to Ludwig talk about the girl. It may be a coincidence, he thinks as he looked at the German with questioning eyes**

Ludwig had honestly not expected for the other to say dare, so therefor his mind was blank for a while. After a while however, he came up with something. It may or may not count, but his creativity was limited with these kind of games. “Talk about something you are passionate about, for at least three minutes.” He didn’t mention that he just wanted to see the glint he had noticed in Feliciano’s eyes again.

**“Can it also be a person?” Feli asked without thinking.**

Gilbert interrupted this time, voice a slight tease. “It cannot be a person in this room.”

**Feliciano thought for a while. “Ah, a moment please.” He dashed out of the room grabbing one of his sketchbooks containing the specific needed drawing and smiling before returning to the rooms the brothers were staying. “I now remember how I got passionate in the first place.” He said showing a drawing to Gilbert. “This was the first drawing that boy made.” He said with a wide grin, not noticing Gilbert’s grin when he saw the drawing. “My neighbour crush I mean.” He lighted up just thinking about how his art created a way for him to get close to people. “Like I already slipped my passion is art, I have an almost obsession with angels.” He showed one of his sketches towards Ludwig. “My main inspiration is Michelangelo.” He took in a deep breath, trying not to lose too much air in his excitement. “My dream is to become an art teacher, I decided to get through with it due to Ludwig, but the reason it all began is for that boy.”**

**“I still have a lot to learn, but I hope someday I will be good enough to stand before my own class. Motivate them the same way as Ludwig had done.”**

**“My favorite way of drawing is either oil paint or charcoal. But I draw better with pencils and fineliners, favorite pencil being B2 and favorite fineliner being a 0.5.”**

**Before he knew it three minutes had past and he directed his gaze towards Gilbert: ‘I’m sorry Gill, but I choose Ludwig for another round.” He smiled at both the brothers.**

As the brunet finished, Ludwig was left in awe at the sincere honesty and passion in the Italian eyes. It was just incredible. It irked him slightly that he couldn’t see the drawing, but he didn’t really mind because listening to the other was incredible in a way he couldn’t even describe.

He had thought that to himself too many times a day, and he wondered if there was any special meaning behind it. Then again, now was not the time to think about that. He could do it later at night.   
  
Ludwig had to laugh when the Italian ignored his brother for a second time, Gilbert looked like he was directly fuming, although in a pouting way. “Fine, I’ll just leave you two to your things and hopefully there won’t be chickens in the morning,”He winked as he left the room before shouting. “I have to write on my blog anyway.”

As his brother left, Ludwig smiled towards Feli. “Don’t worry about him he isn’t really mad. He just craves attention in a way few understand. Oh, and...I suppose variety is of the essence, so…dare.”

**Feliciano thought for a second when a sneaky grin came on his face. “I dare you to kiss me on a place of your choice.” Feliciano chuckled blissfully knowing Ludwig would go for his cheek.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW DARE YOU FELI *coughs* finally *coughs*  
> Anyways things will turn sugary sweet.


	22. The first kiss and a confession

The request caused Ludwig’s cheeks to flare, and his eyes suddenly locked themselves in place at his own shoes. Sputtering a few words that didn’t really make sense, he found himself too flustered to stand up, so he patted the seat next to him nervously. After Feliciano oh so quietly had fulfilled his request, Ludwig quickly covered Feli’s eyes with one hand, before he pecked the boy on the mouth before he looked away again, face redder than ever before.

**“Dear Lord…” Feli said before hugging the taller blond, cheeks matching Ludwig’s. “Why are...you...so adorable.” He said with the most genuine and gentle grin he had ever pulled. He chuckled as he snuggled under the crook of Ludwig’s neck. Feli said nothing after that, enjoying the warmth emitting from Ludwig body. It was the same warmth that had soothed him when he had shared the bed with the blond, he felt his eyes sting with tears of happiness.** **  
** **  
** **“Te amo.” He whispered as he softly felt himself getting sleepy. It wasn’t for long that he fell asleep leaning against Ludwig.**   
  


Ludwig had no idea how the brunette would respond, but he definitely didn’t expect to be hugged, butterflies erupting in his chest, he found himself not really minding, as he turned to look at the other who was hiding his face in the corner of his neck.

Somewhat hesitantly, he laid his arm around the Italian and hid his own face in the brown hair. Yet again Feliciano mumbled those Italian words, causing the fuzz in Ludwig’s stomach to grow stronger as he pulled the Italian against himself. When he could feel the breathing soften, Ludwig mumbled to himself.

 

“Silly...You’re the adorable one.” Before he lifted the other’s sleeping body and carried them both to the bed, where he cuddled close to the Italian.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Weekend had finally arrived when Feliciano opened his eyes, feeling as if yesterday was nothing more than a dream. He remembered hanging with Ludwig and Gill. But the next moment had to be a dream...right? No way that Ludwig would have kissed him...right?** **  
** **He snuggled against his pillow when he noticed a familiar person next to him. “Huh…?” He said softly, trying his hardest not to wake the blond up.**

**He touched the crook of Ludwig’s neck and went to the tip of his nose. “He may be single, but his lover will be a prima donna.” He sighed, thinking about yesterday’s events. His stomach filled with butterflies. He turned himself away from Ludwig. Just to grab something from the counter. It was a pended. “How amazing.” He looked back at the sleeping blond. “Ludwig wouldn’t mind if I fit this right?” He thought innocently.**

Ludwig awoke the next morning after some of the best sleep he had gotten in awhile, thanks to movement on the bed beside him. On instinct he reached out his arm and curled it around said moving thing only to hold it back from moving out of the bed. Groaning silently to himself, he turned to look at the other, smiling softly before he got awake enough to realize it was Feli, and that he was currently looking at the pendant he had gotten from his time in the army. Still, he didn’t change his demeanor, still smiling in his tiredness as he greeted the other. “Guten Morgen, Feliciano.

**“Ludwig.” Felicinao said, trying to hid his smile but failing. “This pendent, it’s from the army right?” Feliciano said, looking at Ludwig with sparkling eyes. He had a great sense of respect for army people since his father, and grandfather both had served in it. “Can I try it on?” He asked carefully. He looked at the blond, and blushed suddenly remembering the happenings of the the previous night.** **_It was his first kiss_ ** **. The neighbour boy had settled with a kiss on his cheek after all. He started smiling, grateful that his first kiss was with someone as amazing and aspiring as a man like Ludwig. The feeling of happiness spread throughout his body, and mostly his cheeks.**

Ludwig sat up at the others request of trying the pendant on, and in his daze he didn’t notice the other’s blush as he carefully took the pendant from Feliciano, and placed it around the brunette’s neck. Finishing off the small gesture, he placed a small kiss on top of the Italian’s head, thought that was more of a tired gesture of having his guard down more than anything else.

**Feli looked at Ludwig knowing the man wasn’t truly awake, he leaned close to him. A warm fondness reflected in his eyes before he leaned close enough to whisper in Ludwig’s ear.** **_I - I what was it again….in German words…_ ** **Felciano pondered about it, not knowing much German to begin with, he started wobbling on the bed, almost being too jumpy for in the mornings. “Ah! I know.” He chuckled as he leaned close to Ludwig again. “I-Ich liebe dich Ludwig.” He said with apple red cheeks.**

So, Ludwig may not have been completely awake, but his body sure as heck reacted to the sensations he felt and things he heard, the bed was somewhat bouncing, but that made no difference when he felt a breath near his ear that whispered words he wasn’t even sure where real. Instantly, Ludwig moved over the other, holding down the Italian’s wrists with one hand, and the other carefully slid down the Italian’s chest. His face left dangerously close to Feli’s for only a few seconds, before he was tired of waiting and met the other’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know chapter 22 is shorter then normal (but that's because 1. I am nearing exams. And chapter 23 will be a long chapter (*coughs* 18+ times are coming)


	23. Can you feel the love tonight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's PURE SMUT. Be warned. It took a long time but ya'll I wrote the smut.  
> ((Lowkey: it took 21 chapters for them to kiss and just 1 for them to fuck))  
> Thank you my readers especially you Evee900 for giving me the motivation to finish the chapter.

**Feliciano gasped for air as the blond moved so unexpected, his hands held captivated by the German. His heart leaping in his chest, he never considered it would be possible since he always had a raised pulse when Ludwig was near. When Ludwig touched his chest he held his breath in order to not let a giggle escape, it tickled and left a rather unknown feeling. It was when he saw Ludwig’s eyes, his throat felt dry that he understood what was happening. There was this pause, one you relate to when romance movies play in a movie theater. The one where your chest clenches because you know at the sound of the music you are in for a...** **_Kiss._ ** **It was unbearable for the small brunette to stay in Ludwig’s hold, he wanted to break loose. Hold the blond, kiss him yet the sensation of being unable to do whatever he wanted made him feel both scared and...well it quite turned him on.**

**“L-Ludw...Uhhh...I need a shower...or uhh...I uhm….” He said as soon as Ludwig halted his kiss to look at him.**

He didn’t wait much, but the look on Feliciano’s face, how his lips were slightly parted, pink with a mix of red made him ignore the request the Italian was making. He continued kissing further down Feliciano’s neck, and he pushed a leg between Feliciano’s making them rub against the Italian’s...more private places. Holding back a groan himself, Ludwig finally got down to that one special spot at the bottom of the neck, of which he bit. Leaving a mark on the Italian’s skin, feeling a rush of pride and possessiveness hit his gut.

**The Italian responded with a gasp as he felt Ludwig’s leg move across his member.** **“Ludwig…” He moaned and as in instinct put his legs around the blonds middle. “Please...I don’t know...I mean, I want to but...I don’t know...how…” He felt himself worrying to not do things right, afraid of the memories he suppressed, to disappoint Ludwig, and at the same time longed so much for this that it felt like the sweetest torture that a man could have. “Ich - liebe dich, te amo, Ludwig.” He said as a wave of pleasure rushed over him. “I need you.”**

At the sound of the other’s uncertainty, Ludwig immediately became infinitely more gentle, but he didn’t stop completely. Grinding his hips slowly into the the other’s and groaned. Somewhere deep down Ludwig had wanted to do this, badly. He carefully let go of Feliciano's wrist before he leaned above the boy again, pressing his forehead against his, soft blue eyes meeting golden hazel ones and whispered: “Ich liebe dich auch,” He breathed, before mumbling a small. “If you’re nervous, I can go slow. Or stop, if you’d like me to.” He just held such incredible warmth in his eyes for some reason, one he suspected to be the boy  beneath him. “We don’t have to go all the way either,” He murmured. “So tell me what you want, alright.”

**“I want you. No I want us, right now, embracing each other.” Feliciano said with a husky voice. “I want you to** **_teach_ ** **me, to tell me how to do this.** **_Guide me._ ** **” He bit his lip before pressing himself up to steal a kiss. “And most of all, I don’t want to see any kind of regret afterwards.” Feliciano said, his voice dripping with passion. “Is that enough?” He said looking into Ludwig’s eyes, wondering if those sea-blue eyes would be able to drown him.**

Ludwig smiled at the brunet, nodded lazily in an answer to to his question. “That sounds like a plan.” He murmured against the Italian’s lips, he had himself blushing as he said the next thing. “I’ve actually never done this before as well, but I certainly know how to...do it. So we can learn together, alright” In one fell swoop, Ludwig let one hand rest on the Italian’s cheek, whilst the other one slid further down his  _ lover’s _ body, gently wrapping a hand around Feli’s member, smirking as he felt the Italian move due to the contact and started moving it, using his other hand as a guide for his partner to touch him as well, to not be too shy, but that he was free to touch where he pleased.

**Feliciano gasped a second time, he suppressed his moan as Ludwig touched his member, shakily a bit shy he touched Ludwig’s hard on. “Wow...It’s warm.” He said a bit embarrassed, kissing Ludwig’s neck. The smell coming from Ludwig’s body excited him even more. “Ludwig would you please, don’t be so gentle.” The brunette confessed with a slight bit of shame, he didn’t know why the feeling of before when Ludwig had pinned him down had excited him so much, it was as if adrenaline was rushing through his veins.**

Ludwig groaned in response to the Italian  _ Finally _ touching him back. It felt almost too unbelievable to be true, like this was all a dream and the only thing that kept him grounded was the feeling of Feliciano against him. Only allowing a hum in response, he ever so slightly allowed himself lose a slight piece of control, giving a request to the Italian as well. “Only if you don’t hold back your voice,” He said, moving down to suck on one of his lover’s nipples.

**The groan coming from Ludwig was such a turn on for the brunette, as if he couldn’t believe he could make a man like Ludwig give out such a sound for him. It filled him with pride, yet still it was such surreal this was happening. No boundaries of being students and teacher, or father and son. Feliciano wondered if this made them lovers now.**

**“Ah.” He gasped as soon as Ludwig’s tongue grazed over the sensitive bud on his chest. He wanted to move, please Ludwig, his lips curled in a smile. “Ludwig lay on your back please.” He had been dreaming of doing this as soon as hormones had kicked in. Stroking Ludwig’s length, surprised at the size. He licked his lips, making them as wet as he could. He felt grateful for his brother’s warning that a large member meant he needed lube or as Lovino said: “It will hurt like one big moth...A Lot!”  He felt himself chuckle, he wondered if Ludwig would have lube in his house. So he felt the need of another way. His eyes pierced in those deep blues as if to warn the blond for what he was about to do. “Tell me if I do it right, okay?” Feli said, his voice betraying his nerves. He started to kiss the tip, the sour taste wasn’t that bad before he gathered the courage to start licking it.** **_I can’t believe I’m doing this._ ** **The sensation of flesh against his throat was new, bobbling his head slightly up, trying not to graze his teeth against it. He was so nervous but at the same time he felt powerful, after all he was pleasing this man. He focused his concentration on Ludwig, wondering what for an erotic face he would pull, with him doing this.**

Ludwig didn’t exactly want to stop, the sounds Feli made were just too arousing, they were like music to his ears. He didn’t ever want them to stop. At the same time, he felt he should listen to his lover beneath him, but he didn’t do so before he had quickly placed a kiss on the other’s mouth.

As he laid down on his back, leaning on his elbows to keep an eye on the brunet, he gave the Italian a smile. And then...things that happened after were indescribable in a way, because a wonderful sensation came over him, and they only caused him to groan and lean his head back in pleasure. His breath shuddered for a small while, enjoying what was being done to him, before he looked “up” again and down at Feli. The sight alone made him groan again, and without meaning to, he lifted a hand and rested it on Feli’s head, lacing his fingers in between the the brown locks of the other.

**Feli was still doing a bit awkward, but the blue fire of Ludwig’s eyes helped him through, he licked the shaft once more before using his hand along with it. His fingertips were colder than Ludwig’s body, causing the blond to shudder under his touch. The German’s stare was intoxicating. He moved, wiped his mouth before kissing his older lover, not once not twice well he lost count very quickly, slipping in his tongue allowing himself to be filled with pure bliss and desire. It excited him to the point of no longer wanting to wait. “Ludwig, please take me.” The innocent eyes dug into the passionate once. “Make me yours.” The groans of Ludwig made the Italian even more impatient, hugging the tall blond, grinding his buttocks against Ludwig’s member.**

It was over all too quickly, but Feliciano did not hesitate in making up for it by bringing the German’s lips on his own, effectively cutting off any complaint he may have...not that he had any. He returned the kisses with just as vigor, and when the other introduced his tongue well, Ludwig quickly joined  in, battling the other’s in a somewhat fight for dominance, though it was more gentle than anything else. Breathing heavily when they went apart,his eyes widened at Feliciano’s words, though he stopped the Italian in his actions slightly. “Feliciano, I have lube.” He confessed into the other’s ear.

**Feliciano felt himself giggle, the German seemed to be prepared. Which he thought was weird because he didn’t had a partner. “Did you plan, or rather did you know this was going to happen?” Feliciano wondered, well in his mind he had never expected this.**

Ludwig chuckled. “My brother’s a pervert and got it for me as a joke on Christmas.” He laughed. “He does it every year to embarrass me.” He grinned, sneaking a kiss before he leaned over to a drawer in his bedside table, and got the bottle of the gel, handing it to the Italian.

**“Euhm…”Feliciano blushed. “So d-do I put this on you, me...or both? I’m totally being the bottom but uh...yeah.” He wondered how red his cheeks had turned now, perhaps like a marriage between a lobster and a tomato who later got children.**

At this the German only smiled and placed a kiss on his lover’s forehead. “Lean down, and I can take care of it,” He mumbled, smiling gently. “I promise I’ll do it at your pace.”

**The Italian nodded agreeing to the request. He laid down, sneakily kissing the blond again, whispering the three German words that made the German react so strongly**

**“Ich liebe dich, Ludwig.”**

**He laid on his back doing as Ludwig told. Wanting him to hurry as quick as possible** . 

Ludwig’s heart fluttered as the Italian said those words, and he smirked as he replied. “Te amo, Feli.” He whispered, his voice slightly lowered as he leaned over the brunette. Coating his fingers in the lube, he met the golden eyes that could belong to no other than the object of his affections. “This might hurt a little, okay…?” He asked gently, before slowly pressing in a finger.

**The feeling wasn’t pleasant in the beginning, it was a sharp pain which made Feli curse at all the manga he had read. Having gay sex was nothing similar. It hurt and it made it hard for him to breath. He clung to Ludwig in the hope it would lessen the pain, and as time passed he got used to the feeling giving the blond a nod as an approval for him to continue, slightly frightened if the pain would return if Ludwig would move, or worse would trade his fingers for something else.**

Ludwig decided to go slow, careful. Anything that might make this better for Feliciano. In a way it gave him some peace of mind, but he also wanted to keep going. He didn’t want to be egoistic in this moment however. He wanted to share the feeling of melting into another body with his Italian. He had never experienced the feeling himself, but he knew that it was one he wanted to feel with Feliciano only.   
  
In the back of his mind Ludwig wondered when he started to think of Feliciano as  _ his _ Italian. It seemed somewhat far-fetched, and possibly even just plain stupid, but in this moment Ludwig was too busy focusing on his lover to care. Carefully slipping in another finger after a while, the German peppered kisses on the other’s neck, face, chest you name it. He just wanted to show his affection some way, and he wasn’t quite sure how to show it. This moment alone felt almost like a dream to him. He was acting purely on instinct. And for now he hoped that was enough.

**Feliciano couldn’t help but moan as the second finger entered, it felt strange but surprisingly not too hurtful anymore. “Ludwig, Mi amore, te amo..Ludwig.” He gasped between forced quick breaths, wondering if he was only feeling pain at this point.** **_It felt better that his shower adventure._ **

**It had taken time for the both of them to acknowledge what they were feeling for each other, he knew deep down this wasn’t just lust. He loved Ludwig, and now he had no desire to fill his heart with fear. It wasn’t just because Ludwig saved him, he felt accepted. He trusted this man with body and soul.**

Ludwig smiled to himself in the back of his mind, the words his Feli were gasping, drinking each of them like a lifeline as he let his own mouth wander over  the Italian’s neck, peppering kisses and even biting playfully on certain spots as he tried to insert his third finger as discreetly as possible. He knew this would hurt, but it would be better to prepare his lover well.

Without realizing it, Ludwig had started murmuring words into Feliciano’s neck, some that sounded faintly like “Ich liebe dich” and others that didn’t really make any sense, but any form of “liebe” was always there. “Liebling,” and just words in English as well could be heard.

His other hand had not so unknowingly started heading further down, towards the very organ that could make this at least feel slightly better for Feliciano. He couldn’t have it hurting too much, after all. Somehow he felt very self-conscious about touching the Italian’s member, hesitating only for a slight second before taking it in his hand. It was silly to be thinking that now of all times, but he couldn’t help the fact that he was insecure, and quite awkward. 

**Feliciano let out quite a gasp. “Y-you, I love..you.” There was a pause, where fear of not being allowed to say those things held him captive. It was a moment where he believed that he might even cry. He wanted this man, but he wanted more than his body. He wanted his heart. And now, he couldn’t live without these strong arms holding him. And that idea alone scared him so much.**

**“Please, don’t ever leave me.” He said as the first tears fell on the German’s shoulder.**

Ludwig could only lean back and smile with a smile so gentle it could probably break from the smallest movement. It was so vulnerable and kind, and it was rare to see that expression on him, but right now, with Feliciano, who had just said he  _ Loved  _ him, the German couldn’t quite help himself. From the fluttering feeling in his chest to the burning passion in his body, he couldn’t quite realize just how lucky he was to be able to see Feliciano like this, to be this close to him, and to have Feli feel for him, for the other to love him like he did. It was strange, but at the same time…

Ludwig loved it. He couldn’t get enough. And he returned the feelings with an equal, if not stronger passion.

And so he pulled out his fingers from Feliciano, and leaned his forehead on the other’s, a sky blue color doing it’s best to convey the amount of love they held. A shy smile graced the blond’s lips, and he murmured a small: “I promise.” before slowly pushing his member in.

**The feeling Feliciano felt was more than pure bliss, crying out because of the unexpected feeling. He clung to Ludwig’s strong arms as if it was the only thing that could keep him together. “Ludwig- more.” He cried out feeling the length of the taller man entering him. He had to take deep breaths, no intent to let his German lover go. He had done well waiting on the right person to take his** **_Virginity_ ** **away, and he couldn’t imagine anyone else to fill Ludwig’s spot right now. Not even the adorable neighbor.** ****  
**  
** **He hoped this wouldn’t change, he loved Ludwig with a passion of the moon and the stars and with him in his arms he never felt more complete. A sweat drop glided of his forehead, when he finally adjusted himself to the feeling of having a males sexual organ inside of him. He couldn’t be more happy, the sharp pain was still there but his emotion kept it from ruining the moment.**

**His head filled with what ifs. Cooking nights. Getting along with Gilbert. Meeting Ludwig’s parents. However his thoughts were interrupted with a passionate kiss, and a movement from the German’s hips.**

**It was a very long night, which he blissfully could spend in Ludwig’s arms.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapters will be slow -> I have still a lot of plotwork, and I still have some other fanfics I'm working on.
> 
> A gerita oneshot  
> A Gerita + Spamano + Fruk in one multifanfic.  
> I have to work on my teen wolf fanfic.  
> So please be patient ^^ Thanks everyone for your support


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